I have seen a bunch of you over the years for the problem with the humanity destroying robot that lives in my head. Most of you have honestly wanted to help me get better, but few of you have gone so far as to LISTEN TO ME about what is wrong. Yes, I know, I don't have a bunch of letters after my name, but I gotta tell you that I have a MUCH CLEARER picture about what I deal with on a daily basis than you do. No, really, I do. And so do my friends and loved ones. So what is your freaking problem?
Well, yeah, I know it's easier to prescribe me a whole batch of drugs than to try and figure out what is really bothering me. Duh. But, like, that whole drug the robot into submission thing? It only works for a little while, and then we are back to the place where every time I open my mouth, I threaten civilization as we know it.
And for the love of god, when I find something THAT ACTUALLY WORKS BETTER THAN DRUGS(like, oh, I don't know, acupuncture) don't look down your nose at me like I'm some new age hippie freak. You can think what you want about alternative medicine and how the acupuncturists don't give you free pens, and post-its and shit, but for the first time IN YEARS, I feel relaxed and happy and PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO BE AROUND ME. So far, you haven't given me a drug that can come close to that.
Actually, come to think of it, you guys have fucked my life up kind of a lot over the years. You know, with your not listening and BAD COMBINATIONS OF DRUGS. I never ever even thought about carving myself up like a Christmas Goose until you started pumping my body with chemicals. Nor have I ever threatened to throw myself out windows or hurled household objects UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG.
But you know what? It's cool. I don't blame you entirely. I could see myself getting seduced by pharmaceutical reps too. I mean, DAMN. FREE PENS??? Hell yeah!
I guess the bottom line here is this: I trusted you guys, you let me down repeatedly and I want to explore some other options. No hard feelings, mmmkay?
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Don't be too hard on yourself, it is sooo easy to just go along with what they say. I mean we go to the doctors when we are most vulnerable and they should be our advocates, but sometimes I really question that. They have an extrordinary amount of power over us and very few I have known have actually earned it... We are not guineau pigs dammit!
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