13 Reasons It's a Great Day to Be Alive

1. Cold Brewed Coffee- One of the chef's I used to work with in CO used to make it this way and I had totally forgotten about it until the NYT Magazine did a piece on it. Of course, the Times featured a $40 "cold brewer" and I just use a jug and a strainer (total cost: $2 from your local dollar store), but if you haven't tried coffee this way, you are missing something wonderful.

2. 80 degrees and sunny!

3. I fixed my dishwasher for once and for all! Fuck you, Sears! (It just needed a new hose.)

4. Replaced the light fixture above my sink so I can actually SEE to replace said dishwasher hose.

5. As always, $1 PBR drafts at the Hotel Vernon, home of the recent "Ukepalooza" Ukulele Festival. (Great entertainment for out of town guests!)

6. Edy's slow churned ice cream.

7. Underfoot's haircut. Every time I look at her I die a little inside. (from cute o.d.)

8. Kobe beef hamburgers.

9. Tempranillo. Spanish red is the new Zin! (And you can totally quote me on that)

10. 90210 Season 2 on DVD.

11. $217 airfares to Minnesota.

12. Someone left a whole bag of Dove dark chocolate candies on my dining room table.

13. I got rice cooking in the microwave...

Baby, baby, can't you hear my heartbeat?

I don't consider myself to be a particularly loving person. When it comes to other people, (of course, llamas, kitties, puppies, OMG PONIES!!1!, hamsters, goatersons, etc. are not included in the rage-making) I find that I am, more often than not, filled with unbridled rage. (Thanks, Paris! Oh, and P.S. HA HA you're going to JAIL!)

So when my stone cold heart is moved by someone, it usually takes me by surprise and I'm all "WTF? Should I call an ambulance? Do I have any Zantac?"

Saturday I had a talk with my mechanic, who is the most fantastic man on the entire planet (Sorry, Santa Claus!) not only because he knows everything I don't about cars, but also because he is honest. He assured me that the $600 "scheduled maintenance" on my car was mostly a scare tactic and he'd let me know what (if anything) my car does need. That's basically what I thought, but since I don't know crap about fixing/maintaining cars, it's reassuring to hear it from someone who does. Especially since I just recently had to actually use the Extended Warranty thing to get my computer fixed which I had convinced myself was a waste of $100 when I bought it 2 years ago. Turns out it was worth it. The $129.99 they tried to charge me to reinstall Windows, however, would have been a waste of money since i am perfectly capable of inserting a CD and hitting enter a few times.

Later that evening I watched Calvin Borel win the Kentucky Derby on Street Sense and after hearing him talk in THE MOST ADORABLE CAJUN ACCENT I felt that unfamiliar twinge of emotion inside and wanted more than anything to scoop him up and put him in my jacket pocket. OMG PONIES!!1!! I dare you to read this guy's story and not get a little emotional.*

*No mint juleps were consumed during the writing of this blog.**

**Goddammit.

Underpocalypse Now

Spring is traditionally known as a time of change and renewal. Eggs hatching, trees and flowers blooming, lambs gamboling in pasture and hairball producing kitties getting haircuts.



When I dropped UnderFizz at the groomers today she completely filled her pet carrier. When I picked her up 1 hour later, she was approximately 1/3 her original size. The groomer said she behaved very well and just sort of sighed and lay there while she got 35 pounds of fluff sheared off. That's my girl: resigned.


As much as I feel bad about inflicting such a ridiculous haircut on my cat (not shown: pom pom tail) I can't help but hear that ZombieNation song every time she walks through the house.

Bedroom eyes are easier if you have bangs or if you are a llama

I finally got a haircut on Saturday. Yes, finally. I FINALLY have non-embarassing hair. I was at that point where you almost don't want to go to a salon because you know they will be looking at your 4 inch roots and give you a "What the hell were you thinking?" look and then pick up a limp strand and say something about "We've got a LOT of work ahead of us."

I guess I have mixed feelings about judgemental hair stylists. On the one hand, I KNOW I look terrible, I don't need to pay someone $60 to remind me. But on the other hand, I want them to be judgemental and make me look good. As in, the opposite of how I look when I walked in.

I get the same way only worse when it comes to bikini waxes. I mean, I can't afford to go every 4 weeks like I am "supposed to", but then when I let it go too long (hahaha) I feel extremely self concious. I mean, even more self conscious then I usually feel while a Russian woman is yanking out my pubic hair. Luckily, Svetlana doesn't say anything. Possibly because she doesn't know that much English. Or maybe she's just being nice because of that time I let Anya watch and practice her waxing technique on my crotch. You know, the more the merrier.

Which was the theme of Alissa and The Schooligan's Birthday Extravaganza 2007. It totally turned out great though, in spite of my utter and complete lack of organizational skills. Perhaps they were cancelled out by Sangria. Even though I initially wanted to ignore the whole birthday all together (I'm 29, wtf?) I'm glad we ended up at a great restaurant surrounded by people we love and who don't mind me picking food directly off their plates.

It was super nice out today, so I went to the petting zoo on my lunch break. A llama tried to steal my iced coffee and a goat tried to eat my dress. There were some children there, but unfortunately luckily none of them got head butted by over zealous goats.