Nautical, But Naked

Topic of today's group information session.

You know those nightmares where you realize you are in school/at work/speaking at the UN and totally naked? On the same theme, I have this paranoid fear of trying on clothes in store dressing rooms and then forgetting to put my pants back on and walking out into the store pantless. I've never actually done this. Or even come close. But I worry about it. A lot.

Today I had to give an information session to a group of prospective students and parents. Of course I was freaked out because the last (and first) time I had given one was over a month ago and surely I had forgotten everything I ever knew about Clark in that time.

Also, I realized that the pants I am wearing today make me feel naked.

I mean, they are just black, cropped pants (like pretty much ALL my pants) but the key difference is that they actually FIT me. I almost never buy clothes that actually fit. Mostly because they haven't made clothes to fit my body in at least 30 years. But also because I worry that if I buy clothes that fit I will gain weight or something and then they won't fit and I will be down one pair of pants. So I buy things that are too big. And then I buy a lot of belts.

So, I had on my naked pants and my nautical-themed shoes (which are the most awesome shoes EVER) and a striped shirt and my anchor/ship's wheel necklace that my (awesome) sister got me and a room full of people who were only mildly interested in what I had to say. And half of whom left early. And the rest of whom didn't find any of my "jokes" even remotely funny.

Sigh.

Must go home and cobble together a pizza in a (probably) hopeless attempt to redeem myself after the Great Paella/Biscuit Disaster of Last Weekend.

What The Kids Are All Talking About These Days

Me: Rockabilly Vampire?? I want my boyfriend to be a Rockabilly Vampire!
MiniSchooligan: I know, right? It's perfect! Sleep all day, rock all night!

I Should Really Know Better By Now

With the temperatures getting cooler and the air getting crisper it's prime apple pie and bourbon drinking weather. There's nothing quite like a cool night and a good glass of bourbon to make you feel warm down to the tips of your toes.

While bourbon sipping goes quite well with porch sitting and conversing with friends, it does not necessarily make cooking easier, although it does frequently make it more delicious. (See: bourbon balls, bourbon pecan pie and sauteed duck breast with bourbon cream sauce. Hmmm. There's an idea for a dinner party...) There may have been a slight biscuit disaster following the aforementioned bourbon sipping. (Note: "grease pan" is not a mere suggestion.) However, I was able to perform some damage control by dousing the whole debacle in cheese gravy. Cheese! It's good for covering up mistakes!

Answer: Who says Percherons can't pull?

Question: How do you start a bottle fight at the Sterling fair?

This Sunday, my sister and the lovely Serena (adjunct family member) and I went to the Sterling Fair. I like this fair for many reasons, the least of which is not that it's totally free. Prizewinning vegetables + ample amounts of fried food = One really great time. (Insider's tip: When assembling your vegetable cornucopia, make sure your cucumbers are the proper size. The judges this year were totally frowning on over sized cukes.)

I may have been born in Worcester, but I am totally a down home girl at heart. There's nothing like some draft horse competition and cute boys with Skoal rings on their pockets to make me want to grip a piece of hay in my teeth and sheepishly kick a dirt clod with the toe of my boot.

Everyone is nicer in Minnesota

Especially lumberjacks. But also hipsters.

Spent the weekend in Minneapolis visiting Slevy, drinking, and going to the State Fair. I have to say that I'll know I've made it when my face is carved into a hunk of butter.