Two things I will not miss about working here

(D-bag edition)

My coworkers took me out to lunch yesterday. At the Sole Proprietor (fancy-pants fish restaurant) no less. So much awsum!!!11!one!! I was actually surprised that they were all so misty-eyed at my upcoming departure. I was also surprised that they kept wanting to talk about climbing.

I was not, however, surprised that TSV made the following comments to me:
TSV: I'm really surprised you are eating bacon.
Me: delicately nibbling my bacon wrapped scallops Are you kidding me? Why is that surprising? (*note: I will eat practically anything wrapped in bacon.)
TSV: Well, I just thought you were healthier than that.
Me: thinking And I thought we could get through lunch without you making some jackass comment.

Later on that day, at around 4:58 pm to be exact, another coworker (who I genuinely like and who surprised me with his douchebaggery) came over to chat with me about me leaving. I had to explain, yet again, where I was going and what I am doing. ("So, you are the Assistant to the Director of Admissions?" "No, I AM the Assistant Director") Then he gets into a long winded and hopelessly irritating conversation about his son and the value of a college education that goes something like this:
Him: Yeah, so it's really important to have a college degree these days.
Me: Mmmhmm (looking at clock)
Him: Do YOU have a 4 year degree?
Me: Yes
Him: My son didn't want to go to college, blah blah blah, I told him he really needs to get a 4 year degree in this day and age to be able to blah blah blah, I mean, even a degree in English would be better than nothing!
Me: HEY!
Him: Oh. Is that what you have a degree in?
Me: Yes.
Him: *turns red*

For the last time people, WE CAN'T ALL BE ENGINEERS!!!

No More Cock For Me

(At least not while I'm working...)

As of July 27th I will no longer be working at The Cock. On August 1st, I start my new jay-oh-bee at the lovely Clark University. I had off-handedly asked my brother to let me know if there were any openings and lo-and-behold the Admissions Office was hiring. I had worked there as an Undergrad (and helped my brother get a job there) and the woman I used to work for emailed me and advised me to send in my resume. Which I did, after many many agonizing days trying to make it look like I have some legitimate experience. (Thanks, Slev!)

I figured that my status as an Alum and a former student worker would probably get me an interview, which it did. On the hottest day of the entire summer. At least they probably thought I was sweating because it was hot, not because I had no idea what the hell I was doing in their office. I felt like the interview went... all right. At least until I started thinking about all the (probably) really dumb things I said.

Apparently they were all the right dumb things because I found out last week that I got the job!

Two Things I Will Not Miss About Working For Cock:

1. Conversations like this one:
TSV: I won't be in Friday.
Me: k.
TSV: I am having a colonoscopy.
Me: o_o
TSV: It's my 2nd one. (pause) You know, they really aren't as bad as people make them out to be.
Me: thinking Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

2. People who insist on using Comic Sans in presentations and expect to be taken seriously.

7 Deadly Something or Other

Today I was trying to remember the 7 Deadly Sins. I'm convinced that each passing day brings my brain closer to complete mush, so sometimes I test myself to see just how many things I have forgotten. Among the forgotten are Wrath and Sloth.

Wrath I can sort of understand, I tend more towards extreme annoyance. But Sloth? SLOTH? How could I, the person who was seriously freaked out each and every time (approx. 812) I watched Se7en, forget about SLOTH?

Dear Sloth, after all those nights when I couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking about you and all the times I had to leave ALL THE LIGHTS on in my house just so I wouldn't accidentally stumble upon your atrophied limbs while making my way to the bathroom, how could I ever forget you, Sloth? You had an integral role in the Hearts games I played when I should have been doing something more productive on my computer and figured prominently into many many games of "Would you rather?" I even took you on my wagon train in Oregon Trail II. (You died of dysentery. Sorry.)

I guess it's just fortunate that extreme forgetfulness is not a mortal sin. Or is it? I can't remember.

People at the (yoga) party hot hot hot!!!

Yes, I know that it's better to yoga in a warmer room because it keeps your muscles loose and what not. But I also know that it's impossible for me to concentrate on my breathing when I am sweating so much that it looks like I peed my pants.

Honestly. Can it plz be gin and tonick time now?
Kthxbai.