Not just super velocity, and wisdomosity, but very much randomosity

I realized that the heat must have affected my brain, because it has been so very long since I mentioned how much I. LOVE. COCK. Seriously. (PT says that I am on the verge of wearing out "seriously", but I can't find anything else that fits. "Duh" is too low class, and lacks the assertiveness of a well executed, "Seriously." What is a Schooligan to do?)

Anyway, some people take Cock a bit too far. As I was coming back from lunch, where I sat at Panera and drank 2 Huge iced coffees ($1.39 with FREE REFILLS) and used their FREE WIRELESS, I stepped over a USED CONDOM right in the middle of the parking lot. If that's not taking COCK too far, I don't know what is.

We are having this "event" this week at work. It's another one of those dorky scavenger hunt type things (like the one that got me a naked plastic baby) where you pick up random objects and see if you won a prize. I found a rubber shark (who is now eating the plastic baby) that was not a winner. Then I found plastic clapping hands that declared me a WINNER! I hurried to the 2nd floor to collect my prize which turned out to be a $10 gift card to... Brook's Pharmacy. So, if anyone needs some deodorant or dental floss, it is TOTALLY ON ME!

In the spirit of altruistic self-promotion, I am happy to annouce that the achingly hip Action Geek has wooed me into writing a piece for his 'zine. I fully expect everyone to check out AG #29 when it comes out and learn the secrets that are revealed when we open the Schooligan Files. If this is a preview we are in for a hell of a time.

As a result of my climbing trip this weekend I have an interesting collection of bug bites and tan lines. I was climbing in a tank top with my camel bak strapped on and consequently have TWO SETS of white stripes on my shoulders. Oh, and despite SV pressure to get the black one, I am quite happy with my hydration being enclosed in bamboo green. I also have a new set of vertebrae made up ENTIRELY of fly bites. Also, my jawline has been chawed beyond recognition by those little fuckers. Until they heal, I will be the Schooligan in the iron mask.