Coming back from a climbing trip one time, my friends and I were playing a rousing game of Would You Rather and I came up with: Would you rather have public, televised sex with Carrot Top that EVERYONE YOU KNOW including grandparents, ex boyfriends, grade school teachers will see and never let you live down OR live in a house that CONSTANTLY smells like cat pee and you can NEVER MOVE?
I will soon live in that house.
Seriously.
The Schooligan is Moving! But first, I had to tear up THREE ROOMS of cat piss infused carpeting. My brother and sister helped and we threw it out a second story window right onto my dad's herb garden. We smashed this season's chive crop and let me say that the only thing that smells worse that cat pee is cat pee and onion. Dad was less than impressed but he still took me to Home Depot so we could buy paint. I had a TOTAL MELTDOWN when the dude asked me if I wanted Matte, Eggshell, Satin, Semi Gloss or Gloss. I burst into hysterical tears and said, I DON'T KNOW! JUST TELL ME WHAT I WANT!
At this point, I totally don't care.
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