She heard an unpleasant tearing sound as though someone were ripping a long, long strip of calico.

So said one of the passengers on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
And so I feel everytime someone mentions "The Wedding".

This weekend, I am heading up to Stowe, VT for Gargamel's brother's wedding. I will be leaving a SIX MOTHERFUCKING A.M. on Saturday, but, let's be honest, it will probably be closer to 7.

G's brother is getting married in a STREAM.
I am staying at THE TRAPP FAMILY LODGE.
I cannot stop thinking of bad clothes, singing and Nazis.

My coworker, Jeremy, pointed out that even though we resolved the case of the missing pants, since G will be STANDING IN WATER, he really didn't need pants, then? Perhaps waders?

Which brings up the question of what one wears to an Aquatic wedding?
Flippers?

I purchased a totally inappropriate pair of open toe, black satin heels.
I will teeter on the bank in style.