In a burst of manic energy this week, I decided that I wanted to "improve" my kitchen. There isn't much I can do about the faux pine panelled walls, but I can, you know, paint the molding (seen above in a dingy PURPLE for Christ's sake) and feel like at least some parts of the Ponderosa kitchen aren't quite as ugly as others.
While I was taping (and forcing the mini schooligan to tape as well) I happened to look behind and under the stove. BIG MISTAKE. Dust bunnies does not begin to describe it. More like dust mastadons. And empty coke bottles, wine corks, and all the missing cat toys since the beginning of time.
In other news, I went to see an acupuncturist today.
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING JESUS ON A MOTORCYCLE.
Let me repeat: Sunshine Motherfucking Rainbows and bluebirds getting me dressed.
Today, after drooling all over the table with needles in me, I felt, for THE FIRST TIME IN WEEKS, relaxed. Calm. Even, dare I say it? HAPPY?!?!
I don't know all that much about Qi, except that mine is apparently majorly fucked up, but SHIT ASS HELL BALLS, did that shit help. Whoa. Like WHOA.
See? I am no longer angst ridden and the Euphoria is preventing me from writing a coherent sentence and/or editing this post before I publish it.
The crippling anxiety and feeling that I am mere seconds away from bursting into tears or exploding into a billion shards of busted Schooligan while the robot goes apocalyptic on everyone IS GONE.
I don't know if this will last. I don't know if this is the missing piece of the puzzle. I don't even know why it works. All I know is that I never knew true gratitude until I was given this day free from the black clouds and saw the sun again for the first time in what feels like forever.
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