According to Mrs Ruding, there is not. Which is why I should have been Venus rising from the fucking gynocological table.
Unfortunately, it is v. hard to appear ladylike and dignified when you are spread open beneath a piece of paper while total strangers examine your girly bits. Especially when they are wielding such tools as a PUNCH and a BRUSH.
The best best BEST part is that I have my period and as the doctor kindly YELLED DOWN THE HALLWAY as I was leaving my appointment, "Remember: Nothing in the Vagina for THREE DAYS!" Dammit. I had a whole list of things I was going to put there. Including, oh, I don't know, TAMPONS? Yes, I got my period a day later and was forced to go out and purchase and then wear A PAD. It has been so long since I have used one of these things (I like my Keeper) that I had no idea what to buy. I got something with wings.
I also have WICKED BAD cramps, which I do not normally have, but am thinking that my body is just punishing me for harassing the cervix (which, Emily is right, does sound like some kind of African antelope) Although after an acupuncture sesssion, I felt much, much better. So I went home, went running, did grocery shopping, made a cheesecake, tidied up, did NOT do laundry, and then curled up to watch "The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio". It was good, but I kept thinking about how much my mom would have liked it, and that made me cry and unable to sleep despite the super snoozle powers of not 1 but 2 cats and all the crap TV and sleeping pills I could handle.
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3 comments:
it's the upton womb.
Blech, I hate using maxi pads almost as much as I hate going to gyno.
Hope you're feeling better these days.
My eyes feel violated having seen those tools.
So are you a distributor of The Keeper? And how would one go about approaching women to try it????
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