Making My Mother Proud

For a while now, I've been making a conscious effort to save money. Mostly because I don't have any. If current trends continue, I face working until AT LEAST 2045 before I can retire. That's pretty effing depressing, so I pinch pennies where I can. I mean, it's all about balance and a hefty serving of ingenuity. For example, I keep my heat off so that I can afford to buy expensive bourbon which in turn keeps me warm. Cats are also cheaper than Natural Gas, and way more amusing. I mean, who wants to watch the heater lick peanut butter off it's nose?

There are a lot of hillarious helpful websites out there with ridiculous useful tips on living frugally by washing your clothes in the bathtub or, stir uncooked oatmeal into a glass of water, sweeten it with sugar and stir. The oatmeal will settle to the bottom of the glass and the cloudy part will mask any off taste in the water. You drink the water, then you eat the oatmeal.

Riiiigggghhhhht.

But really, saving money doesn't have to be depressing. I mean, who would't like these cheap ass earrings? Or this brooch? And what says Christmas more than a box of Q-tips?

Cork'd

Thanksgiving. Still digesting.

Thursday 13

13 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Rock climb in Thailand.

2. Adopt a greyhound.

3. Vacation in Dubai.

4 . Have hot drunken sex with Anthony Bourdain.

5. Dip my own bottle of Maker's Mark.

6. Move back out west.

7. Watch the Kentucky Derby. In Kentucky.

8. Go to the PBR World Finals.

9. Have hot drunken sex with Adriano Moraes.

10. Ride a mule into the Grand Canyon.

11. Get "stranded" in a blizzard at a mountain cabin. With a fireplace. And a hot tub. And a barrel of bourbon.

12. Ride a camel past the pyramids.

13. Get laser eye surgery.

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Thanksgiving Cannot Come Fast Enough

Top 3 Reasons Why I Can't Wait for Thanksgiving:

3. 4 day weekend!!!!
2. Above average alcohol consumption!
1. It begins the "Holiday Season" where I have total dietary impunity until sometime after New Year's!

I'm Sick of Watching Things Die

We had the dog put to sleep on Saturday. It was time.

What else can I say, happy to the very last, I'll miss you Finn. Go pick a fight in heaven.

Fabulous Life = Lack of Blogging

If by fabulous we mean working overtime (including weekends!), enjoying the fruits of a liquor store liquidation (Currently drinking Oro, a lovely Spanish red. Soft, velvety with a surprisingly smooth finish.) trying to convince my computer to stop being an asshole and connect to the internet already, and listening to pigeons having loud pigeon conversations in the eaves of my house every morning beginning at 4.30 am.

And yoga. I've been doing the yoga thing and really enjoying it (the yoga lady is SO CUTE. And nice! And cute!) Except for the fact that I feel like every time I go, I suck more than the time before. Like this week when I nearly fell over trying to do the balancing Half Moon. My consolation was that the girl next to me fell over too. We exchanged sympathetic glances while picking ourselves off the floor. The girl on the other side of me came within inches of kicking me in the face. Oh, and the guy behind me spent the whole class either talking to himself or sitting on the abandoned nautilus machines lined up against the wall. I think part of my problem was that while I was bending over I kept fixating on all the cat hair stuck to my pants. Black pants + cats = useless battle to look put together.