Mommy Drinks Because You Cry

I annoy very easily.

Today's List of Top Annoyances includes:

1. The 5.24 am UnderFoot wake up call. The thing about cats is that you can't really reason with them. Not that I can reason with much of anything at that hour, but cats are especially impossible. Oh and she ate my last Pillsbury Crescent Roll! That bitch.

2. Myspace messages like this one: u look like a red head and u look great in your high heels pic. woo hoo with ya so naughty look at the camera.

Uhhhh, I don't even know where to begin with that one. Thanks? I mean, I have explicitly said that unless you want me to publicly mock you, please do not send me gramatically suspect messages. What more must I do?
Oh, but do I really look like redhead? Tell me the truth.


3. The copy machine in the hallway outside my area upon which some clown afixed a sign reading, PLEASE FIX ME. Of course, the task fell to the girl in the pink dress and white cardigan who wanted nothing more than to be covered with TONER.

4. This.

But if you are a good little Schooligan, behind every major annoyance is a guy with Mad Photoshop Skillz and a whole lotta free time...