Thursday, July 21, 2005

Bring on the cargo nets!

Yesterday was a bad day. Not in a "hurl myself out the window and Action Geek, you can have my cocktial shaker" kind of way, but in a way that it just seemed to tiring to try anymore. For the past couple of weeks, I have (along with G and my sister and assorted other angels of mercy) been trying to get the new apartment into liveable shape. But not just "let me move into another crappy apartment", but rather "let's try to create something resembling an actual home." I know, what the hell am I thinking? Anyway, I have been painting and scrubbing and calling plumbers (none of whom actually call me back) and painting, and throwing away someone else's trash, and drinking A LOT of beer (thanks, AG!) and chain smoking and desperately trying to make progress. A lot of the time I feel like, where the hell can I find a river to divert through this crap hole?

It's hard enough to do home improvey type stuff, but when you face that after a long day at COCK, well, it's enough to make you want to unpack the martini glasses (which I still haven't found, dammit). Also, this week I have been trying to catch up on other things, like teeth cleaning (perfect teeth, no cavities) and my semi annual pap smear. Now, I don't care how you look at it, being cranked open at the gyno's office while they prod your cervix is just unpleasant. Really. Unpleasant.

I came home last night following the cervix poking and stepped into my dirty, half-painted house and just felt defeated. Utterly defeated. I had some cashews for dinner because I read that they help combat depression. I don't know how many you have to eat, but 1/3 of a can of Planters just made me feel sick.

I talked to Gargamel (still safely in the wilds of Western MA and far far away from the hell that is my house) and he did his best to cheer me up. He gave me that "Glass half full or half empty" analogy and i wanted to say, Not only is my glass half empty, but it's covered with maple syrup and cat hair.

The highlight of the night was when my sister (who is the most amazing thing on the planet for helping me out so much with this. i love you!) and I were cleaning the kitchen to the sounds of Richard Cheese and she accidentally spilled my beer all over the stove. (boo.) As she grabbed a paper towel to wipe it up, she exclaimed, HEY! THE CRAP IS COMING RIGHT OFF!

Yes, you heard it here first: Mexican Beer is the new Oxyclean!
Ole!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i still haven't hemmed my curtains...and i spilled beer all over the wood floor last night. thankfully, it did not take the finish off the floor as i feared.