Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things That Grate On Every Nerve In The Schooligan's Body: 1. People who try to reason with cats. I contend that a well aimed squirt of water is infinitely more effective than saying to the offending feline, Now good kitties don't pee outside the litterbox, do they? No they don't. 2. Talking with a completely affected European/Canadian accent (Depending on where your current girlfriend lives) when you are 100% from Massachusetts and your parents talk normally. 3. Looking horrified when I tell you how much I spend on an iPod and then saying, Well, I am never going to buy one. Ok, fine. Don't. Noone is making you buy one. 4. Not putting a new roll of TP on the holder when you use up the last one. Putting it on the back of the toilet or the top of the empty roll DO NOT COUNT. 5. Trying to hit on me with emails full of grammatical errors. If you can't write a coherent sentence, I am probably just going to LOL at you. Possibly publicly. 6. People who don't apologize or accept blame when they are clearly wrong. When I fuck up (admittedly, often), the first words out of my mouth are "I'm so sorry!". 7. Characters in movies who scream a lot. 8. Not using the auto unlock button on my car and unlocking the doors manually. You see how the lock on the driver's door is busted off? Yeah, that's why. It's my car, learn it's quirks or DON'T USE IT. 9. Kids screaming/having tantrums in crowded public places. Yes, I know I don't have kids. I also know (as the oldest of 4 by EIGHT YEARS) how difficult it is to make them behave all the time. But I still don't have to enjoy it. 10. People dressed in dark clothes who leap out in front of my car while I am driving at night. This happens a LOT in my town, and I am terrified I am going to run someone over. 11. Paying money for crap beer. Yes, I know people have different tastes, and that is cool. I also know that if there is a FREE KEG of Bud Light, I am drinking the SHIT out of it. But don't expect me to pay for the stuff. It's barely even beer. Or drinkable. 12. People who aren't willing to try "different" foods. You don't have to like it, but at least TRY IT before you get grossed out. 13. THIS! If you want to use a picture of me for something public, like oh, I don't know A MAGAZINE, have the courtesy to ASK ME if it is ok. I will probably say yes, because I am vain like that, but don't just assume that it is ok. And then when I call you on it, don't expect that your crappy photoshop cropping is the same as an apology. It's not. I mean, how would you like it if I used a picture of YOU for an ad for, oh, I don't know, a three headed dildo without asking? Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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