Thursday 13

The only 13 songs I listen to on my iPod.

1. Do You Want To- Franz Ferdinand
2. Down the Old Plank Road- The Chieftans
3. Travelin' Thru- Dolly Parton
4. Sugar, We're Going Down- Fall Out Boy (aka the "Looliorah" song)
5. I'm Money- Zebrahead
6. Bonnie Taylor Shakedown- HelloGoodbye
7. Behind These Hazel Eyes- Kelly Clarkson
8. She's a Rebel- GreenDay
9. Bojangles- Pit Bull
10. Pass that Dutch- Missy Eliott
11. God's Gonna Cut You Down- Johnny Cash
12. Devastation Wagon- Frantic Flattops
13. Man of Constant Sorrow- The Soggy Bottom Boys

13 Reasons It's a Great Day to Be Alive

1. Cold Brewed Coffee- One of the chef's I used to work with in CO used to make it this way and I had totally forgotten about it until the NYT Magazine did a piece on it. Of course, the Times featured a $40 "cold brewer" and I just use a jug and a strainer (total cost: $2 from your local dollar store), but if you haven't tried coffee this way, you are missing something wonderful.

2. 80 degrees and sunny!

3. I fixed my dishwasher for once and for all! Fuck you, Sears! (It just needed a new hose.)

4. Replaced the light fixture above my sink so I can actually SEE to replace said dishwasher hose.

5. As always, $1 PBR drafts at the Hotel Vernon, home of the recent "Ukepalooza" Ukulele Festival. (Great entertainment for out of town guests!)

6. Edy's slow churned ice cream.

7. Underfoot's haircut. Every time I look at her I die a little inside. (from cute o.d.)

8. Kobe beef hamburgers.

9. Tempranillo. Spanish red is the new Zin! (And you can totally quote me on that)

10. 90210 Season 2 on DVD.

11. $217 airfares to Minnesota.

12. Someone left a whole bag of Dove dark chocolate candies on my dining room table.

13. I got rice cooking in the microwave...

Much more incriminating than Thursday 13

My google search history.

23 skidoo
Veloute
wasabi mashed potatoes
american gem society
pseudocyesis
funnycide
Rochom P'nieng
inherited hammertoe
complaints about subway sandwich
shocking truths
white chocolate
big dipper
mathematical theorems
being poor is your own fault
New yorkers are ridiculous
Fra Browning
Family in oregon stranded
johnny cash middle finger
cheap trip to Kentucky derby
blood pressure
Delaware emission limits for coal fired power plants
paso corto
calories in cheese omelet
hip haircuts
riesling
kibbee
patrick Deuel
glockenspiel
walnut
abdominal migraine
zodiac killer
god rest ye merry gentlemen
history of candy bars
modern pyramid schemes
claymoore
garrote
Uninvited game reviews
chelated iron
fireproof christmas tree
old fashioned licorice all sorts
What's the fuss over TMX Elmo?
Is the shroud of turin fake?
Tenzig Norgay
plaid fur lined hat with ear flaps
canine liver shunt
petite four
fung was bus disaster
stikfas
medical quakery
william howard taft
Sopron dog yard
Luke perry in 2006
Sport team rivalry
What's the difference between William Henry Harrison and James Garfield?
Ass over teakettle
T is for Texas
Teens bake puppy in oven
rasputin stout
causes of tinnitus
copper allergy
meniere's disease
SDA virus
exploding stomach from over eating
co-morbid anxiety
interrobang
I hate the schooligan
Syrian Rye
Running shoes make my feet numb
desert aisha plusie
schadenfreude
living with morbid obesity
totenkopf
chloe the pitbull
urim and thummim
#10 envelope
subaru recall
how to spot fake gucci
absolute zero
Alice Hoffman
islands near puerto rico
giant underpants
children misbehaving at restaurants
drill hole in head
periodic limb movement disorder
arrow through head
free things to do in columbus, OH
pizza bites
gunga din
aspartame will kill you
real estate cody, wy
family circus sucks
beauceron
vice versa
Nembutal
self important conversation
Ramadan 2007
Fill & drain hose coupler assembly
TJX security breach
attuned eating
Cruel Girl Jeans
beriberi
Camp Wind in the Pines
Russian Moose Farm
folliculosis
out of control binging
How to fold large pieces of paper
Anthony Bourdain
Bone marrow donation
glenlivet natural Scotch whisky
How tall is Beth Rodden?
Wilted spinach
How to cut emo bangs
homozygous proven stallion
rachel ray meatloaf muffins
cat eye syndrome
diverticulitis
mahi mahi recipe
Starbucks 9/11
Leland Olds air permit
Morgellons
Siberian Cat
English bull dog problems
Yom kippur
lumbago
rusty cage
oleana
cant touch this lyrics
can ducks throw up
gurney
Duke Belews Creek
balancing moonflower
phonics
raw seal fat
sopapilla
honey dew donuts
cervical punch
world's smallest horse
whiskey on the rocks and a quarter for the juke box
quid pro quo
when was shake and bake invented?
mock apple pie
ways to lose your driver's license
momo syndrome
obesity crisis in america
what is a placket
chiropractors on crystal meth
blueberry cobbler
BLM horses
ring bone
Dog chapman arrested
little yellow jacket
cotton eye
hell house
Gerald Gentleman station
Deval Patrick
Children who are difficult to toilet train
behind these hazel eyes
spontaneous lactose intolerance
museum of russian icons

Thursday 13 Things I Would Like For Christmas

1. Kitchenaid Mixer- But seriously, who doesn't want one?
2. Some nice knives- And I promise to take care of them and not put them in the dishwasher, practice knife throwing, etc.
3. iPod- I am the ONLY person ON EARTH who doesn't have one.
4. One of the best movies EVER MADE.
5. This T-shirt.
6. DKNY Red Delicious
7. Fur lined hat with earflaps.
8. Home Nacho Maker Ok, not really. Actually, I can't believe this product even exists.
9. A retired Greyhound.
10. A housekeeper
11. Smartwool socks- Only the best socks on the planet.
12. A Sherpa jacket
13. A sherpa.

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Thursday 13

13 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Rock climb in Thailand.

2. Adopt a greyhound.

3. Vacation in Dubai.

4 . Have hot drunken sex with Anthony Bourdain.

5. Dip my own bottle of Maker's Mark.

6. Move back out west.

7. Watch the Kentucky Derby. In Kentucky.

8. Go to the PBR World Finals.

9. Have hot drunken sex with Adriano Moraes.

10. Ride a mule into the Grand Canyon.

11. Get "stranded" in a blizzard at a mountain cabin. With a fireplace. And a hot tub. And a barrel of bourbon.

12. Ride a camel past the pyramids.

13. Get laser eye surgery.

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Hot Diggity! It's Thursday 13!

13 Outdated Phrases That I Love and Use Without Knowing Exactly What They Mean.

1. Ass over teakettle- As in, falling. Confusing imagery, but fun to say.

2. 23 Skidoo!- I don't think anyone knows exactly what this one means, but it goes well when followed up by dashing off stage right whilst holding a football.

3. Raining fishhooks and hammer handles- Pa said this once in one of the Little House on the Prairie Books, and I just love it. Much more dangerous than “cats and dogs”.

4. See a man about a horse- Wonderful for making a mysterious departure when really, you are just going to the bathroom or something.

5. Dog and Pony Show- Sometimes Cock is just one big dog and pony show. Or one big corporate circle jerk, depending on whom you ask.

6. Bum’s Rush- My mom used to say this, usually apologetically, “I hate to give you the bum’s rush…” Makes me smile.

7. Blow it out your ear- I think Homestar said it, and therefore it may or may not have any actual meaning. Or maybe it’s just a polite way of shoving it up someone’s ass.

8. Nervous as a whore in church- Hee hee.

9. Nerved up- To the point of complete confusion, “I’m so nerved up I don’t know what I’m doing.”

10. Mommy drinks because you cry- What I say to my cats when they won’t shut up.

11. The road to hell is paved with good intentions- Or, coulda, shoulda, woulda.

12. Curse like a longshoreman- Uh, see 1-12.

13. Off the wagon- Me? Never.