Today my dad, my sister and I took the annual trip to the farm to buy Halloween pumpkins and marvel at how cute the llamas are. There was a week or so old baby llama that was all fuzzy and big eared. We picked out our pumpkins, ran through the corn maze, bought some gigantic carrots and headed home.
On the way back we drove past a liquor store that was going out of business. A hand printed sign, obviously written by the hand of God, read "Today Only! All Wine $2.0o!" I don't know that I have ever read such beautiful words and I immediately cut the wheel hard to the right and careened into the parking lot.
The store was mostly empty, but there were still shelves and shelves of $2 wine. I grabbed a cart after momentarily falling to my knees in tearful gratitude. Now usually, $2 wine is, well Boone's Farm or best served in a paper bag. But this was a gold mine of pleasant drinking. I immediately grabbed 3 bottles of Rancho Zabaco Sauvignon Blanc, which is a wine I had just reccommended to someone the other day. Everything else was pretty much a blur of ecstatic disbelief and tears of joy. There was mostly white wine left, but I did get a couple bottles of red, a bordeaux, and some italian wine that I don't know anything about, but figured I could risk the TWO DOLLARS. I got some sparkling wine, a bottle of Dubonnet, and some fume blanc, and, and, and...
I spent a whopping $32 and came out with 17 bottles (!!!) of wine. (They gave me one free. A sommelier's dozen?) I think it's fair to say that this was one of the best bargain finds of the century.
Between this and the PBR finals this week, I am one happy girl.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Hot Diggity! It's Thursday 13!
13 Outdated Phrases That I Love and Use Without Knowing Exactly What They Mean.
1. Ass over teakettle- As in, falling. Confusing imagery, but fun to say.
2. 23 Skidoo!- I don't think anyone knows exactly what this one means, but it goes well when followed up by dashing off stage right whilst holding a football.
3. Raining fishhooks and hammer handles- Pa said this once in one of the Little House on the Prairie Books, and I just love it. Much more dangerous than “cats and dogs”.
4. See a man about a horse- Wonderful for making a mysterious departure when really, you are just going to the bathroom or something.
5. Dog and Pony Show- Sometimes Cock is just one big dog and pony show. Or one big corporate circle jerk, depending on whom you ask.
6. Bum’s Rush- My mom used to say this, usually apologetically, “I hate to give you the bum’s rush…” Makes me smile.
7. Blow it out your ear- I think Homestar said it, and therefore it may or may not have any actual meaning. Or maybe it’s just a polite way of shoving it up someone’s ass.
8. Nervous as a whore in church- Hee hee.
9. Nerved up- To the point of complete confusion, “I’m so nerved up I don’t know what I’m doing.”
10. Mommy drinks because you cry- What I say to my cats when they won’t shut up.
11. The road to hell is paved with good intentions- Or, coulda, shoulda, woulda.
12. Curse like a longshoreman- Uh, see 1-12.
13. Off the wagon- Me? Never.
1. Ass over teakettle- As in, falling. Confusing imagery, but fun to say.
2. 23 Skidoo!- I don't think anyone knows exactly what this one means, but it goes well when followed up by dashing off stage right whilst holding a football.
3. Raining fishhooks and hammer handles- Pa said this once in one of the Little House on the Prairie Books, and I just love it. Much more dangerous than “cats and dogs”.
4. See a man about a horse- Wonderful for making a mysterious departure when really, you are just going to the bathroom or something.
5. Dog and Pony Show- Sometimes Cock is just one big dog and pony show. Or one big corporate circle jerk, depending on whom you ask.
6. Bum’s Rush- My mom used to say this, usually apologetically, “I hate to give you the bum’s rush…” Makes me smile.
7. Blow it out your ear- I think Homestar said it, and therefore it may or may not have any actual meaning. Or maybe it’s just a polite way of shoving it up someone’s ass.
8. Nervous as a whore in church- Hee hee.
9. Nerved up- To the point of complete confusion, “I’m so nerved up I don’t know what I’m doing.”
10. Mommy drinks because you cry- What I say to my cats when they won’t shut up.
11. The road to hell is paved with good intentions- Or, coulda, shoulda, woulda.
12. Curse like a longshoreman- Uh, see 1-12.
13. Off the wagon- Me? Never.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Hot Dog! We have a weiner!
(Or a frankfurter. Sometimes it's hard to tell.)
A while back I entered a contest sponsored by my favorite bourbon. They wanted to hear an adventure story. I forget which adventure I wrote about. It was either the "Hiking Down from Mt. Washington in the Dark Because I Forgot My headlamp in the Car" adventure or the "I am 8 Pitches Up the Side of a Sandstone Pillar and I Have to Pee Like a Fucking Racehorse And There's Not a Goddamn Thing I Can Do About it" epic.
At any rate, as you can see from the congratulatory letter I won 2nd Prize!!! I didn't win the mountain bike (grand prize) but I did get a nifty Bulleit Bourbon Hat. Which I will most likely never wear. (But if I do, I will take pictures)
A while back I entered a contest sponsored by my favorite bourbon. They wanted to hear an adventure story. I forget which adventure I wrote about. It was either the "Hiking Down from Mt. Washington in the Dark Because I Forgot My headlamp in the Car" adventure or the "I am 8 Pitches Up the Side of a Sandstone Pillar and I Have to Pee Like a Fucking Racehorse And There's Not a Goddamn Thing I Can Do About it" epic.
At any rate, as you can see from the congratulatory letter I won 2nd Prize!!! I didn't win the mountain bike (grand prize) but I did get a nifty Bulleit Bourbon Hat. Which I will most likely never wear. (But if I do, I will take pictures)
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Sunday in the Park With Finn
You know how when someone is, like, dying everything seems so much more poignant and meaningful? And also sad.
My sister and I took Finn to the vet on Friday because his cancerous tumor had gotten really huge in a very short amount of time. It's growing out of his shoulder like a second head. The vet was cool and honest and told us that there wasn't really anything we could do for him. Not only was the tumor growing extremely quickly, but he had another one on the other side. He's already had surgery twice and it had come back each time and it just doesn't seem fair to make him go through another surgery when the tumor would most likely grow back before his stiches even came out. So, we decided to just let him live out whatever time he had left and not hassle him with anymore vet visits.
The weekend was beautiful and I spent Sunday climbing up at Rumney where I managed to fall off Lonesome Dove (5.10a) AGAIN. Motherfucker. On Sunday, my sister, the King and I all piled into the car and took Finn for a run in Howe State Park. We all had a great time tripping over logs and slipping on fallen leaves. For some reason neither Finn nor myself can resist walking on a fallen log over the water. They are inevitably slippery and one or both of us always manages to get wet.
After drying off, we headed to Dairy Queen for some ice cream and then stopped at the Llama farm. King made the mistake of taking Finn out of the car and all the Llamas raced over to the fence and faced off. Our dog is a lot like a drunk Irish guy (terrier) who doesn't realize that the fight he's about to pick is a really, really bad idea. My sister and I watched in embarassed fascination as Finn barked his stupid head off and the Llamas stood glaring defiantly. Finally, we dragged him back to the car and got out of there.
You know, llamas aren't ones for messing around. I tried to explain to the dog that a lot of sheep ranchers keep llamas because they run off coyotes and that if they could kick a coyote's ass they could most certainly show Finn a thing or two about a thing or two. He was too busy straining at the end of his leash to pay much attention.
My sister and I took Finn to the vet on Friday because his cancerous tumor had gotten really huge in a very short amount of time. It's growing out of his shoulder like a second head. The vet was cool and honest and told us that there wasn't really anything we could do for him. Not only was the tumor growing extremely quickly, but he had another one on the other side. He's already had surgery twice and it had come back each time and it just doesn't seem fair to make him go through another surgery when the tumor would most likely grow back before his stiches even came out. So, we decided to just let him live out whatever time he had left and not hassle him with anymore vet visits.
The weekend was beautiful and I spent Sunday climbing up at Rumney where I managed to fall off Lonesome Dove (5.10a) AGAIN. Motherfucker. On Sunday, my sister, the King and I all piled into the car and took Finn for a run in Howe State Park. We all had a great time tripping over logs and slipping on fallen leaves. For some reason neither Finn nor myself can resist walking on a fallen log over the water. They are inevitably slippery and one or both of us always manages to get wet.
After drying off, we headed to Dairy Queen for some ice cream and then stopped at the Llama farm. King made the mistake of taking Finn out of the car and all the Llamas raced over to the fence and faced off. Our dog is a lot like a drunk Irish guy (terrier) who doesn't realize that the fight he's about to pick is a really, really bad idea. My sister and I watched in embarassed fascination as Finn barked his stupid head off and the Llamas stood glaring defiantly. Finally, we dragged him back to the car and got out of there.
You know, llamas aren't ones for messing around. I tried to explain to the dog that a lot of sheep ranchers keep llamas because they run off coyotes and that if they could kick a coyote's ass they could most certainly show Finn a thing or two about a thing or two. He was too busy straining at the end of his leash to pay much attention.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
My Baby's Got Me Locked Up In Chains
(Unfortunately, that's just a metaphor.)
This weekend was seriously the best weather we've had all year. More like late summer than fall, (except at night when it was like 20 degrees.) Rob, Alissa, Forrest and I hit North Conway on Saturday and Sunday for some primo deluxe climbing. Maybe I'm just a big wuss, but I don't know that I see a reason to lead trad routes tougher than 5.5. Whatever, it's fun, and Rob let me lead the ace pitch on Slabs Direct, and because it was easy there was no need to freak out and realize the potential for death. Yay!
Sunday was another brilliant day. Forrest and I climbed a moderately fun and extremely run out route called Wedge. He ran out 70 meters of rope on the first pitch, and used 2 pieces of gear. I set 2 or so pieces on the second pitch before racing the rest of the way up a blank, but thankfully, low angle face. I managed to misread the route so that I was left with a slightly scary, but thankfully quick, traverse over to the anchor. Forrest lead pitch 3 which was 60 feet straight up to the anchor. There was NO PROTECTION AT ALL. Luckily, it was easy.
Pitch 4 was mine, and while we were collecting ourselves I managed to not talk myself out of leading yet another run out pitch, many many feet up to a bolt and then a traverse over to a gigantic ledge. I left all the gear with Forrest because there was no place to put it anyway, and the less weighed down I was, the better. I warned F. that I was going to climb FAST because I really wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. He said he was ready, and I took the fuck off. About 10 feet into my mad dash up the side of the cliff, Forrest yells up, "Uh, sorry, hang on" and fiddled with the ropes a bit before being able to play out slack. I waited patiently, balanced on pretty much just air, and then took off to finish up. Reached the bolt with no problem, dashed up to a horizontal crack which THANK GOD had an ancient piton stuck in it. I greatfully clipped and and sidled over to the ledge.
The ledge thankfully was huge. There was a shaky looking tree with some old, sun-faded slings tied around it. I eyed them suspiciously, tentatively shook the tree a little bit and as it wobbled back and forth over the side of the ledge, I decided against using it as an anchor. I looked down at my gear loops; one lonely micro cam, a set of teeny stoppers and some tri-cams. Not exactly great anchor-building material. Actually, it was the least appropriate gear for the job. I glanced down, watched the sun glinting off the entire trad rack that Forrest had hanging from his harness and sighed.
Glancing around the ledge, I saw a horizontal crack system in the wall that had, thank you sweet jesus, an old piton hammered into the crack, (not as corroded as the one in the picture). I clipped myself into that and started trying to cobble my paltry gear into the wall to make some semblance of a safe anchor. I got a nice placement for the cam, but everything else was the complete wrong size. After some more fruitless fiddling, I gave up, slung my cordellette into the 2 pieces and belayed Forrest up. I hollered down that the anchor was probably fine but that to be on the safe side, I wouldn't fall on it. Luckily he made it up without incident.
Saturday night, we all camped out in the White Mountain Nationl Forest. We drove a while up a logging road and pulled out into a little clearing on the side of the road. As we were setting up our tents under the light of a full moon and Petzl headlamps, a large pack of coyotes erupted into deafening howls. It was amazing and reminded me just how much I missed that sound. The coyotes kept up their yip-yip-yapping as we snuggled into our sleeping bags and went to sleep.
"I'm going back to the country,
I can't pay the rent.
I ain't broke,
But, brother, I'm badly bent."
This weekend was seriously the best weather we've had all year. More like late summer than fall, (except at night when it was like 20 degrees.) Rob, Alissa, Forrest and I hit North Conway on Saturday and Sunday for some primo deluxe climbing. Maybe I'm just a big wuss, but I don't know that I see a reason to lead trad routes tougher than 5.5. Whatever, it's fun, and Rob let me lead the ace pitch on Slabs Direct, and because it was easy there was no need to freak out and realize the potential for death. Yay!
Sunday was another brilliant day. Forrest and I climbed a moderately fun and extremely run out route called Wedge. He ran out 70 meters of rope on the first pitch, and used 2 pieces of gear. I set 2 or so pieces on the second pitch before racing the rest of the way up a blank, but thankfully, low angle face. I managed to misread the route so that I was left with a slightly scary, but thankfully quick, traverse over to the anchor. Forrest lead pitch 3 which was 60 feet straight up to the anchor. There was NO PROTECTION AT ALL. Luckily, it was easy.
Pitch 4 was mine, and while we were collecting ourselves I managed to not talk myself out of leading yet another run out pitch, many many feet up to a bolt and then a traverse over to a gigantic ledge. I left all the gear with Forrest because there was no place to put it anyway, and the less weighed down I was, the better. I warned F. that I was going to climb FAST because I really wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. He said he was ready, and I took the fuck off. About 10 feet into my mad dash up the side of the cliff, Forrest yells up, "Uh, sorry, hang on" and fiddled with the ropes a bit before being able to play out slack. I waited patiently, balanced on pretty much just air, and then took off to finish up. Reached the bolt with no problem, dashed up to a horizontal crack which THANK GOD had an ancient piton stuck in it. I greatfully clipped and and sidled over to the ledge.
The ledge thankfully was huge. There was a shaky looking tree with some old, sun-faded slings tied around it. I eyed them suspiciously, tentatively shook the tree a little bit and as it wobbled back and forth over the side of the ledge, I decided against using it as an anchor. I looked down at my gear loops; one lonely micro cam, a set of teeny stoppers and some tri-cams. Not exactly great anchor-building material. Actually, it was the least appropriate gear for the job. I glanced down, watched the sun glinting off the entire trad rack that Forrest had hanging from his harness and sighed.
Glancing around the ledge, I saw a horizontal crack system in the wall that had, thank you sweet jesus, an old piton hammered into the crack, (not as corroded as the one in the picture). I clipped myself into that and started trying to cobble my paltry gear into the wall to make some semblance of a safe anchor. I got a nice placement for the cam, but everything else was the complete wrong size. After some more fruitless fiddling, I gave up, slung my cordellette into the 2 pieces and belayed Forrest up. I hollered down that the anchor was probably fine but that to be on the safe side, I wouldn't fall on it. Luckily he made it up without incident.
Saturday night, we all camped out in the White Mountain Nationl Forest. We drove a while up a logging road and pulled out into a little clearing on the side of the road. As we were setting up our tents under the light of a full moon and Petzl headlamps, a large pack of coyotes erupted into deafening howls. It was amazing and reminded me just how much I missed that sound. The coyotes kept up their yip-yip-yapping as we snuggled into our sleeping bags and went to sleep.
"I'm going back to the country,
I can't pay the rent.
I ain't broke,
But, brother, I'm badly bent."
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
13 Articles of Clothing I Am Totally Digging
1. Old Navy print cotton t-shirts- As I was telling Alissa today, they are super soft and long enough to make my torso go on forever. And a bargain at 5.99!
2. Old Navy open knit sweater- Again, a bargain! Wear it with a contrasting tank top underneath, or if you're feeling supremely edgy, a pretty brassiere. (Just don't complain about being cold!)
3. My beloved Gap boy-cut straight leg jeans, that I thought I would never find. Dark wash, flattering and, dare I say, hip?
4. Black Prana capris- I wear these climbing, for yoga, sleeping, everything short of going to work, really. I wish I had more.
5. Solid color v-neck, super soft Gap T-shirts- I have a couple of these, nice enough to wear to work, yet casual! Also, 4.99!
6. My green "I heart climbing" T-shirt. Nuff said.
7. Black, wool, pleated Gap mini skirt- Cute, sassy, looks great with engineer boots.
8. Kicky red dress. If I weren't so lazy, I would post a pic. But I am lazy.
9. Vintage brown leather jacket- Given to me by Uncle Moneybags years ago when his wife made him get rid of it.
10. Signature red vest with Lake Powell and PBR patches sewn on-I got this in a thrift store in Craig, Colorado for $3, 5 years ago.
11. Black ribbed tank top with silver skulls-purchasd in NYC slightly before the explosion of skulls as mainstream fashion accessories.
12. Pewter belt buckle with bronc rider superimposed on a map of the US with an inscription reading "Rodeo: America's #1 Sport"-Cheyenne, WY, pawn shop, $15
13. Red Puma T-Shirt. (Yes, I know that one is pink. Just imagine it in red) I can sort of pass for hip or trendy. Maybe.
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Unfortunately, My Hips Do Lie
They told me that circle, circle, shimmy, shimmy, drop would be no problem at all. Now I can barely move. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to NOT wake up in some kind of pain every day. But, you know, swivel, swivel, circle.
I finally got my car back on Friday, all shiny and not dented. And for only $200, not $900, which seems like the bargain of the century, as Ems would say. So, that's good. What's bad is that we noticed some bizarre rusting on the trunk door that needs to be taken care of. Apparently, it's an extremely rare condition that my body guy (whom I want to marry after all he did for me and my stupid car) has only seen like 3 times before. OF COURSE it would happen to my car. Anyway, as I was pondering what it would be like to drive a car with the back door rusted away, Jim told me that it would be around $600 to fix it but that it WAS COVERED BY THE WARRANTY!! So now I am just waiting for some head honcho at Subaru to give it the thumbs up and/or my door to fall off.
I had an exciting day at work today. I had to read and edit a 15 page paper on mercury control and fluidized beds. Are you asleep yet? Or would you like to hear about the rotary atomizer nozzles?
I finally got my car back on Friday, all shiny and not dented. And for only $200, not $900, which seems like the bargain of the century, as Ems would say. So, that's good. What's bad is that we noticed some bizarre rusting on the trunk door that needs to be taken care of. Apparently, it's an extremely rare condition that my body guy (whom I want to marry after all he did for me and my stupid car) has only seen like 3 times before. OF COURSE it would happen to my car. Anyway, as I was pondering what it would be like to drive a car with the back door rusted away, Jim told me that it would be around $600 to fix it but that it WAS COVERED BY THE WARRANTY!! So now I am just waiting for some head honcho at Subaru to give it the thumbs up and/or my door to fall off.
I had an exciting day at work today. I had to read and edit a 15 page paper on mercury control and fluidized beds. Are you asleep yet? Or would you like to hear about the rotary atomizer nozzles?
Sunday, October 01, 2006
WhySpace
I've had my share of bizarre experiences with a certain website popular with, well, everyone, these days. This one, however, wins.
I get a message from "dave":
holy crap hello Goddess :) (not edited for clarity)
Then:
you dont remember me?
I reply, "Um, no." (After briefly checking his profile and not Remembering anything of the sort)
"dave":
ugh "donald_dink" ring a bell? :)
Anyone? I'm stumped. And somewhat thankful.
UPDATE (10/4) : you seriously still dont remember me ? :(
Seriously, no.
I get a message from "dave":
holy crap hello Goddess :) (not edited for clarity)
Then:
you dont remember me?
I reply, "Um, no." (After briefly checking his profile and not Remembering anything of the sort)
"dave":
ugh "donald_dink" ring a bell? :)
Anyone? I'm stumped. And somewhat thankful.
UPDATE (10/4) : you seriously still dont remember me ? :(
Seriously, no.
I don't care how loudly you play the Imperial March, Darth Vader isn't coming
After sleeping a total of about 45 minutes this past week, I passed out last night for a solid 9 or so hours. I woke up to rain. Inside my bedroom. I had left my window open. (And yet, I was confused as to why I was so cold last night...)
I'm not exactly what one would call "high falutin'" so I will just go ahead and say that "Jackass 2" was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Easily the best 7 bucks I've ever spent. (Sidenote: I got "carded" by the ticket taker, yet noone seemed to object to my LITTLE SISTER seeing an R-rated movie.) I can't remember when I've laughed so hard. (Actually, I do. It was Friday when I came across this.) I don't know if I've ever seen anything as brilliant as "Firehose Rodeo" or "Penny Farthing BMX."
There are times when I find myself faced with an irresistable bargain, and despite knowing that, for example, I don't need a 5th pair of climbing shoes, I just can't pass up a pair of Anasazi's for $40. Reason #437 that the Schooligan is only human.
I'm not exactly what one would call "high falutin'" so I will just go ahead and say that "Jackass 2" was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Easily the best 7 bucks I've ever spent. (Sidenote: I got "carded" by the ticket taker, yet noone seemed to object to my LITTLE SISTER seeing an R-rated movie.) I can't remember when I've laughed so hard. (Actually, I do. It was Friday when I came across this.) I don't know if I've ever seen anything as brilliant as "Firehose Rodeo" or "Penny Farthing BMX."
There are times when I find myself faced with an irresistable bargain, and despite knowing that, for example, I don't need a 5th pair of climbing shoes, I just can't pass up a pair of Anasazi's for $40. Reason #437 that the Schooligan is only human.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
