Thursday 13

Thirteen Wines* You Should Totally Try Right Now!

1. Terra Unico- I don't know much about this one, except that for being in the 2 for $10 bin it's pretty fucking good. Like, so good you wouldn't guess it were so damn cheap. I usually buy 2 or 3 bottles at a time to keep on hand.

2. Madfish Chardonnay- Hands down one of the best out there. Tingly, crisp (for a chard.), and goes well with EVERYTHING. When I waited tables, I would reccommend this one to any table that would listen, and noone ever disagreed with me. Retails for about $13, and like many Australian wines, is a hell of a bargain.

3. Madfish Shiraz- Not as good as the Chard. but a nice, full, drinkable wine.

4. St. Francis Zinfandel (California)- I once made a gross faux pas by serving this as an accompaniment to a gumbo. It picked up all the spicey, peppery flavors of the gumbo and set everyone on fire. However, served with chocolate cake, it is magnificent with the pepperyness. Resonably priced around $20.

5. Wild Horse Chardonnay (California)- Tied with Madfish as my favorite chard. This one is soft, creamy and decadent tasting. One of the best ways to spend $17. I once gave it as a thank-you gift for borrowing someone's truck to move a sofa and it was a hit.

6. Wild Horse Pinot Noir- Not as good as their chard. but definitely worth trying. I often find that pinots tend to feel weak to me. Like with a little more try they could totally kick ass, but don't. (Yes, I have seen Sideways and I can't understand what all the fuss was about.) This one is a notable exception and the light, fruitiness is just right. (I had this for the first time while camping at Starvation Lake, UT.)

7. Frog's Leap Merlot- Fuck you Sideways for keeping people from ordering California merlot. This is THE BEST I have ever had. It's velvety and smooth and seduces your tastebuds so you feel like you are doing something very naughty. (Oh, wait. That was AFTER I drank it.) I bought my first bottle when I was making about $80 a week working the off season on the ranch, so a $40 bottle of wine WAS an obscene indulgence. But I have never regretted it.

8. Southern Right Sauvignon Blanc- An amazing South African white. Actually, one of the best South African wines period. Clear, sharp (without the pucker factor), citrus flavors create a sexy party in your mouth. I think it's around $12 at max.

9. Taylor Fladgate Tawny Port- I am not a huge fan of Port, or sweet dessert wines in general. Overly sweet alcohol makes me wince and feel like my teeth are rotting out of my head with every sip. I got this as a present for someone who wanted to try Port but didn't know a thing about it. It came as a reccommendation for the Port neophyte, and I can see why. Not overly sweet, and syrupy, but pleasant and made me want a cigar and a smoking jacket. Goes for $20-25 a bottle.

10. Little Penguin (any)- Like a lot of the Australian wines these days, this is inexpensive ($7 or so) and yummy. The shiraz is especially good, but the Cabernet blend is also lovely. This is a wine for someone who doesn't think they like red wine.

11. Erath Pinot Noir- Oregon does well with this one. I had it a few weeks ago at The Struck. A friend and I were sitting in the bar enjoying a quiet, sophisticated evening (ha!). I know the manager over there, and they let me try out... all of their red wines before choosing one**. Gotta say, the Pinot won. Not weak, like other pinots, fruity, not dry, great for sipping while wearing kicky heels. About $16 a bottle.

12. Rancho Zabaco Dry Creek Zinfandel (California)- I used to be all about the Zin. (That's red, not white.) It always seems like a wine to drink to make it look like you know about wine. But seriously, for $17, this is a great drink, especially if you aren't certain you like strong red wine. It's strong and flavorful without biting your tongue off. Punchy. Like me.

13. Wishing Tree Shiraz- Don't let the screw top fool you, this is a pretty nice wine. Another example of a y ummy Austrailian wine for about $11. A little bit of spice, a little bit of fruit. Enjoy with dinner, or alone.

*I don't know what gooseberries after the first frost taste like, and neither do you. So I am using "layman's terms" to describe these.
** They really wanted to sell me on the Malbec. Bleck. All of the Malbecs I have had taste musty and dank. Like, they were dug out of HP Lovecraft's crypt or something.

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Not all things are stupid...

Pilates class tonight was especially awful. My legs morphed into inflexible I-Beams of C-276, which, although corrosion resistant, did not make the exercises easy. Anyway, I muddled through as best I could making only an average ass of myself and not some kind of super ass. (Which, I Do NOT HAVE, by the way. Fuck you pilates and all your lies and all your empty promises...)

Throughout the class we have this special aerobic remix CD on, and then for the "cool down" section, we usually get some sort of "relaxation music" like that Deep Forest song or, FUCKING ENYA. I really hate Enya. I don't know why exactly, but it just seems so... crappy. And new-agey in a way that isn't cool like acupuncture. Anyway, while we were stretching, "Sail Away" was playing, which is the Enya I hate above all other Enya. And because I am a horrible, mean, critical person I was singing in my head "This is gay, this is gay, this is gay." the entire time.

I am still trying to learn photoshop, and when I do, I have some incredible ideas for the Nation. I feel like the Nation has been decidedly lacking in absurdity lately, and I totally need to fix that.

Tilapia: It's the new swordfish

And it's also delicious. I made some tonight with lemon, white wine and butter. (yes, it is my new default seasoning) V. good. And so healthy. So I doused my steamed broccoli in a cheddar cheese veloute. And then I ate 4000 chocolate chip cookies.

Ok, I know we haven't done this in a while, but I got an AWESOME myspace message from Bill. He writes: hey u whats up nm here i was wondering if u would wanna go out on a date sometime if u want

His profile says that he like keg parties and Axel Rose. But nothing about Tilapia. Sigh.

Recipe for...

I was going through some old cookbooks of my mother's and I happened across this little gem. What the fucking fuck? I mean, it doesn't make any sense. Why would this even exist? Who wrote it down? Why would my mother have saved it? Did she think about actually MAKING this? And why does JACK not find it as hysterically intriguing as I do??

Come on, draw me a house!

There goes the neighborhood

I Need to Sanitize

Let it never be said that The Schooligan throws a bad party. Let it also never be said that she doesn't give bourbon credit where credit is due.

The scene: Voodoo Lounge
Schooligan enters stage right

Schooligan: Anyone care for a whiskey sour?

Repeat until incoherent and/or you have consumed an entire block of Brie.

On the plus side, I turned the back room into a guest bedroom. I finally got the thing cleaned up and ready for... the cats to have another place to snooze.

The MiniSchooligan and I ventured out today to give The Bollywood Grill (nee, Chef of India) another chance. It used to be the best Indian restaurant around, but then it closed, got renovated and reopened. It has never been the same since. Now, don't get me wrong, I think that multiple TVs showing Bollywood films add a great touch to ANY establishment, but when the quality of your buffet suffers as a result... well, I can't abide by that.

The 2 times I have been there afer the reopening, I was grossly disappointed with the place. (And by gross, I mean, throwing up in my bathroom) However, because there is virtually no other place to get my pakora fix, I decided to give them one more chance. It turned out ok. They had FISH PAKORAS, which were AMAZING. And the Tandoori Chicken was perfect. Oh, god and the spinach and chick peas... (Must stop before I short out my laptop with drool.) Suffice to say, my faith has been restored.

I feel like my Bollywood experience is some sort of lesson in friendship. You know, everyone makes mistakes, everyone has bad days, but it doesn't mean they're a bad friend... it just means that maybe you need to give them some time to get their shit together while you try not to talk too much smack about them, but when you finally resolve your issues, you remember exactly why you were friends in the first place: samosas.

Thursday 13

Thirteen Unforgettable Meals I Have Had

1. In college I was visiting my then boyfriend in San Francisco in 1999. We found a really great sushi place in Palo Alto that offered an ALL YOU CAN EAT sushi lunch buffet for $8.95. No, really. It was awesome. We went, like 3 times.

2. Paris, 2002, having dinner with an old friend who was living in France at the time. He took me to this adorable restaurant where I had duck breast with rosemary and honey. Holy shit was that delicious. Probably the best thing I have ever eaten that wasn't chocolate.

3. My first adult dinner party. Gargamel made pad thai and invited me to have dinner with him, his roommate Jones and Mr. and Mrs. Upstairs (their landlord and wife). I have to say this was the best pad thai I have ever had.

4. Lincoln, NH, the end of the 2004 climbing season. 7 of us dirty, ravenous climbers pillaged a Chinese restaurant after a full day of sport climbing. This place serves General Gau's tofu and it is just so. freakin. good. (We also managed to offend just about everyone in the place with our dinner time conversation, but that is another story.) Then we camped out in 6 inches of snow near Cannon Cliff.

5. Virgin Atlantic flight from London to Boston, 2003. I was returning from my cousin's wedding in Scotland. Maybe it was because I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours, but the beef pie they served ON THE PLANE was incredible.

6. A few years ago, my BFF, Emily, had a "Retro Dinner Party" and made, among other things, meatloaf. I have never, ever, ever liked meatloaf. I think it was because my mom couldn't make it to save her life and used like, really lean meat that got all dried out and overcooked. Blech. Anyway, Em's meatloaf was DELICIOUS. It was everything meaty and good in the world. And the gravy... don't even get me started on the gravy, I would drink it for breakfast.

7. On Thanksgiving a few years back, myaunt and uncle deep fried the turkey. They had one of those turkey fryers that occasionally explode and dump scalding oil all over your garage and kill like, 6 people a year or something. I had heard about this from an old redneck boyfriend (Hi, Trey!) and was eager to indulge my passion for anything fried. Yum. Crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Best turkey ever.

8. Winter of aught one, middle of nowhere Colorado, The Good Reverend Carson, myself, and a Brit named Hugh took advantage of a near empty Dude Ranch and had dinner in the Guest Dining Room. (The place was a Mobil 4 star resort and known for it's cuisine.) Grill Bill T., one of the chefs offered to make us ANYTHING WE WANTED, which, after months of crappy staff meals was a dream come true. I had some kind of salmon and the boys had big slabs of steak. The best part were the "Heart Attack Potatoes" made with equal parts potato, cream, butter and cheese. I am getting chest pains just thinking about it.

9. When I waited tables at the Tatyuck, I was on good terms with all the kitchen staff and they were always making me treats of one kind or another. Anyway, one of the cooks, Jose, made this White Chocolate Curry, which sounds gross, but was in fact delicious. I have no idea what we ate it with, but god was it good. Spicey, sweet, creamy... *drool* (Now that I think of it, we probably just guzzled it down from a trough or something)

10. Last night, I cooked a Cornish Hen. It was on sale at the Big Lie for, like 3 bucks, and I thought, hey, why not? (Sidenote: I really like saying "Cornish Hen", it makes me want to laugh. Try it. Cornish. Hen. Wheeee!) I roasted it in the oven with a Lemon Beurre Blanc and a bit of wasabi mustard. WOW! Really nice. Tender, juicey, fattening. (The B.B. uses an entire stick of butter.) Perfect! I also made rice pilaf that was yummy but unexciting.

11. Grasshopper Restaurant in Allston, MA, an Asian-Vegan restaurant. I have to say that their Sweet and Sour "Chicken" is the best ever. I want some right now. Oh. God.

12. Mike Hanson's Peach Pie. I have a thing for peach pie, and I always thought mine was pretty damn good, but Mike's TOTALLY KICKED MY PIE'S ASS. He made the perfect, flakey, tender crust, lovely spiced peaches, attractive lattice top... Yes, I ate enough to make an entire meal of it.

13. Death Burger Feast 2004. Gargamel and I cooked up a batch of the greasiest, yummiest burgers this side of the emergency room for a bunch of friends. We had a myriad of toppings, all of which, including the sauteed veg, were cooked in bacon fat, a fact I "forgot" to mention to my terrible hippie roommate and let her go on and on about how good they were. (Yes, I am a terrible person. Who loves bacon.)

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Friends let friends eat whole bags of Cool Ranch Doritos

This past weekend, my lovely friend Sara flew out from San Francisco. We hadn't seen each other in a while and with all the recent emotional drama, I was looking forward to ranting over several bottles of wine. Which we did. It was all awesome girl power, Bridget Jones, drunken Karaoke and pizza. The only disappointment was going to Vincent's on Saturday night after running my mouth off about how cool and hip the place was and arriving to find the place chock full of aging rockers. [Note: The bar really isn't that big... about the size of a diner, so really, the band could have not amplified quite so much and the people in the back (i.e. 20 feet away) would have heard just fine.] There was, however, the quintessential Worcester experience of trying to explain Manhattans to drunk frat boys and then not actually getting any free drinks for your trouble.

In speaking of Manhattans, I am thinking of having a wee retro cocktail party in the near future and am interested in getting some ideas for appetizers. Also, is there a definite meaning to "cocktail length" when referring to a dress? I seem to see everything from just above the knee to 2 inches above the ankle. That's a bit of a discrepancy.

With all my recent transcribing for Boulder and his AT adventures, I have been neglecting my own blog. But after writing about someone in the act of WALKING 2000 miles, anything I have to say just seems frivolous. LIke how I seem to have a bit of a cold. Went to bed last night feeling icky and woke up feeling ickier. Sore throat, feverish feeling, generalized unpleasantness... On the plus side, I had an acupucnture session today and experienced Moxibustion to help the sickyness. Seriously, is there anything acupuncture CAN'T do?

Thursday 13

Thirteen Highlights in the life of The Schooligan

1. Arriving in Red Rocks, NV and having Charlie (whom I'd spoken with only via email) take one look at me and say, "Are you BrattyPants?"
2. Falling off a horse after jumping, like 2 fences at a horse show and having the EMTs and my teammates come rushing out into the show ring.
3. Doing it AGAIN the very next weekend.
4. Taking part in a pharmaceudical study where I get paid $300 to have 2 of my wisdom teeth extracted so that they could study the effectiveness of a new painkiller.
5. Getting so violently sick from said painkiller that the night nurse feels bad and offers me "something to help the nausea".
6. Learning that it is a suppository.
7. Getting one of the only documented cases of Scarlet Fever since 1883 at age 6 and spending 2 weeks out of school pretending that I am in Little House on the Prairie.
8. Being involved in TWO car accidents in one week (neither or which was my fault).
9. Spraining my ankle on opening night of a play I was in Freshman year of college and having to pretend to tap dance on an ankle the size of a softball.
10. Swimming with stingrays on a trip to Grand Cayman and having one latch on to my back with its mouth and leave a red mark not unlike a gigantic hickey.
11. Rounding up the horses one morning at the ranch and having my horse trip and catapault me to the ground in front of Every. Single. Guest.
12. Being referred to as "the girl who fell off" for the rest of the week.
13. Buying a pewter belt buckle in Laramie, WY that was so heavy it practically pulled my pants down every time I wore it.

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It's tough to have a crush...

I have been trying to teach myself Photoshop. Um... why must they make this program so ridiculously difficult to understand? I mean, all I want is a picture of me tearing down the Berlin Wall. Is that so much to ask Adobe?

In other news, I received an interesting piece of mail the other day. (Even more interesting than the check for $1600 from Carnival Cruise Lines.) A plain white envelope with a return address of Los Angeles arrived for me. I opened it and found an autographed picture of Vince Vaughn! What the hell? Don't get me wrong, VV is a total sexy pants, but why did I randomly get a picture in the mail? I can't help but think that Mr. Vaughn has a secret crush on me and this is his way of letting me know that Jennifer Aniston is getting the BOOT. (Hahahahahaha. I need to stop with the smoking of the crack.)

I take back all the bad things I have said about Television

Because I had no idea that things like THIS were being broadcast. HOLY SHIT! I know where I'll be on Monday March 13 at 11pm.

Yesterday marked the official beginning to Outdoor Climbing Season 2006. Mikey, Rob, Forrest and I went up to Rumney, NH yesterday to soak up the 50 degree sunshine from halfway up the sides of cliffs. It was so amazing and wonderful. I seriously feel like it's been winter FOREVER. To be outside, in a T-shirt and NOT be cold was just incredible.

We started off slowly, warming up on some short easy stuff at the Main Cliff. Then Forrest and I went off to try some two pitch stuff farther on. As usual, the guidebook was ambiguous and we had to choose between scrambling up a muddy, vegetated gully and climbing up to the crux of an adjacent 5.10c and then traversing back over to the moderate 5.7 that we wanted to climb. I gave Forrest the first lead because he seemed more confidant about finding the right route and, let's face it, I'm a bit chicken climbing into the unknown after a slothful winter of sitting around eating bon-bons.

He lead the climb without incident and I followed up while marvelling how he'd been able to place gear without totally losing his shit like I was about to. It was a fun climb nonetheless and after I ungracefully flopped onto the ledge where F. was anchored, I felt just about ready to lead my pitch. I was like, it's bolted, I can see the line, it's only like 5.8, no problem.

I had somehow forgotten that I am completely out of the climbing zone. (See above, re: bon bons) I managed to fall off on the FIRST MOVE after one of my feet slipped. Then I did it, like 2 more times just to make sure I made a total fool of myself. I did finally reach the FIRST BOLT, clipped it and realized I was sweating like a whore in church. Things went ok, until I had clipped 4 bolts and then looked around and couldn't see the anchors anywhere. The guidebook had said it was only 4 bolts to the top, but I couldn't see anything that looked like a place to anchor. I hollered down to Forrest and he said he saw some chains about 30 feet up from where I was. No. That couldn't be right. Could it? I looked up and confronted a HUGE ROOF and an overhung wall. 5.8 my ass! I shouted down that I was going to do some reconnaissance and see if there was something else around because there was no way in hell I was climbing THAT.

Turns out the anchors for our climb were a bit up and to my right following an easy climb up to a large ledge. All I can say is, thank goodness, because I had totally left my cojones at home. I rigged my anchor and belayed Forrest up. We took a few minutes to congratulate ourselves (well, I mostly congratulated Forrest who wasn't a complete baby like myself) and then rigged our rappel. We rapped down without incident, except that Forrest had lost his watch and asked me to look for it on my way down. (We didn't find it.)

We ended the day over at the 5.8 crag where I actually completed Romancing the Stone (5.10c) after goading a young Dartmouth professor into leading it so that I could climb it on TR. Still, I felt somewhat accomplished because my arms were totally jelloid and I flailed significantly less than the last time I attempted that climb. (Not to say that there wasn't any flailing, just LESS flailing.)

So, it seems as though the climbing season has begun and I can look forward to many weekends of dirtbagging, eating mass quantities of food and maybe even some actual climbing. The rest of you can look forward to a Schooligan whose arms are too sore and tired to throw things at you.

My Latest Project

I mean, besides staying sane and not eating donuts.
My friend Boulder is hiking the Appalachian Trail and I have agreed to transcribe his writings onto his blog. So far, and it has been a little over a week since he started, I have received 3 packets of letters. You can read about his adventures here.

Pretty cool.

thursday 13

Thirteen 13 Things The Schooliganis especially proud of these days

1. Having the courage to give up ice cream AND pastry for Lent.
2. Not wavering in this... (yes, it has only been one week...but still...)
3. Making and mostly sticking to a weekly budget (SO. VERY. HARD.)
4. Going to Pilates when I would much rather stay in bed.
5. FINALLY getting around to reading Gone with the Wind.
6. Paying off all my library fines ($22 *gulp*)
7. Not crying, freaking out or throwing things in OVER A WEEK.
8. Remembering that one can use the "Delete" button when checking email instead of automatically hitting "Reply" (see above, re: not freaking out)
9. Dropping a pill in the sink and grabbing it BEFORE it bounced down the drain. TWICE! (Yes, should really stop taking pills over the sink.)
10. Not buying the cute green striped skirt at Old Navy yesterday even though it was a SIZE 2. (In speaking of which, what the hell has happened to sizes at Old Navy? The last time I was a size 2 was... um... NEVER. Not exactly complaining, just wondering.)
11. Keeping my car from turning into a complete trash receptacle. (Of course, have not had first camping/climbing trip yet...)
12. Actually climbing when I work at the climbing gym instead of lounging on the floor with a magazine.
13. Conscious effort to dry my hair post-shower instead of sleeping on it wet and waking up look like Bride of Frankenstein.

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Outlook good?

Even in light of recent changes, I feel like I have been doing remarkably well. It has been ONE WHOLE WEEK since I behaved like a hysterical nitwit! One week! I mean, yes, I have been upset, angry, sad, stressed and anxious, but I haven't hurled a single household object. I think it is probably a combination of drugs that work (waiting for lightening to strike me...) and the knowledge that spring is right around the corner. There is even talk of GOING CLIIMBING OUTSIDE on Saturday. Yes, with promises of temperatures in the 50's it seems like this could be the end of the winter of my discontent.

And it's about damn time.

Narcoleptic blogging

Apparently the Oscars were more intense than I realized because I fell asleep mid-blog last night. Actually, it isn't all that surprising considering I maxed out the deep fryer last night with all manner of greasy treats. I think my heart temporarily gave out.

Post Academy Awards

Damn. Let me just say, huh? What was with all the gold dresses? And dresses that smooshed everyone's breasts in an unflattering way? I don't know that anyone really looked all that great... ok, Uma Thurman looked amazing, but I felt that fashion wise, this year was sort of "meh". I will say that Jennifer Garner almost falling was v. funny. And I am SO GLAD that Reese Witherspoon won the Best Actress award. I think she is totally adorable.

Relationship Advice From Rhett Butler

I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over.

Relationship Advice From Scarlett O'Hara

I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.