What's this? More ridiculous medical problems?

You betcha. Sort of.

I went to see a chiropractor today re: my fucked up foot. I thought that before I have them cut it open and shave off the offending bone I would see if there was anything else that I could do.

Turns out there really isn't. Well, except for these DIFFERENT ORTHOTICS that the chiropractor recomended that will help my feet stay put when I walk. But apparently my pelvis is out of alignment [wink, wink, fuck you.] and she is going to fix that on Wednesday. Oh, and there is some weird stuff going on with my neck and shoulders (DUH) and she suggested I see a massage therapist. Hahahahaha. Whew. Massage therapists are funny. Well, at least ONE of them is. You know, the one that NEVER GAVE MASSAGES. Yeah, that one. (Who is PREGGERS and due in FEBRUARY, fyi.)

The funny part was when she was asking me about any past back trouble or injuries and I remembered that time I was schooling a pony for my neighbor's kid and she decided she'd had enough and bucked me off. I ended up hitting the ground (on my back) pretty hard and lying there for a few minutes thinking that I would probably die there because I couldn't move and the dumb pony was munching some grass just outside the ring instead of going for help. I did get up, put the pony away and hobbled up to my house where I lay on the couch for about 2 days unable to move. I called out of work that day (I was waiting tables at the time.) and my boss demanded to know why the hell I would go horseback riding before work. As though that were more ridiculous than waiting tables for $2.65 an hour. Jerk. (The place is out of business now. heh heh.)

The chiropractor then asked me how many times I had fallen off horses. I was like, 8, 9, 10? I don't know. Too many times to count. Then she put on my chart "multiple falls from horse". Which, I have to say, is better than "walks like an uncoordinated duck."

Thursday 13

Thirteen Things The Schooligan Misses About Being a Cowboy



1. Being able to wear chaps and not look ridiculous
2. Spurs that Jingle Jangle Jingle
3. Doing shots of Wild Turkey at the Rodeo ("kickin' the chicken" and also perfectly legal. The concession stand sold hard liquor. Imagine!)
4. Being able to say "Y'all" and "Folks" without anyone wondering why
5. Listening to the coyotes howling at night
6. Working the chutes for calf roping
7. The sound of boots on a wooden floor
8. Drinking beer outside the barn after work
9. Rounding things up (horses, cows, people)
10. Feeling PHYSICALLY exhausted at the end of the day
11. Not caring how dirty I am
12. Wide open spaces
13. Waking up in the morning knowing the only thing I have to do that day is get on my horse and ride




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How am I supposed to love myself when it's OBVIOUS that God hates me?

Seriously.

I had a premonition that this would happen: I pay off my car and it immediately falls apart.

And the thing about Volkswagens is that they are constructed from mystery so only 4 people in the world know how to fix them, and they charge at least $300. Every. Time.

Last week, in between more trips to the doctor than is reasonable for someone my age, I dropped my car off to get an alignment. The garage calls me back and says that in addition to the alignment, I also need new ball joints (which are apparently very imprtant in preventing the wheels from falling off). I ask how much it is going to cost, the dude does some quick calculations and... yup. $300. (Turns out it was only $291! A bargain!)

Today, while PT was driving back from Framingham the car apparently hiccuped and the CHECK ENGINE light came on. After said hiccup, the car appeared to be driving fine. ANd it is. Except for that glaring orange reminder that I am now the proud owner of a car that is going to fall apart at any moment.

*sigh*

I Yin When I Should Be Yanging

I had my acupuncture session today. It was good...mostly. I mean there was the part where someone brought their toddler (I think he was like a year old or something. Is that considered a toddler?) into the office and he apparently needed to run around, shriek and bang on the walls in such a way that I felt like yelling, "Hey! Would ya keep it down? Some of us are trying to realign our Qi!"

I had mentioned to acu* lady that I haven't been sleeping well. Make that, I haven't had a night where I did not wake up and pace the house restlessly and/or watch old episodes (I guess they are all old, really, since I don't think they are making new ones...) of Jeeves and Wooster until about 5.30, when I then doze off for a fitful one hour of sleep, SINCE FRIDAY. Yes, that would be four days of getting around 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night. Strangely (or perhaps not), this pattern manifested itself on Saturday when I started a new type of drug. One that apparently keeps me awake and that I can't take a sleeping pill with because it will cause a coma or a seizure or a lethal skin rash or something.

Still, I left the session with that lovely, bright, floaty feeling of well being. Until I bonked my head while rummaging through my trunk. Total buzz kill.

* Reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg (RIP) joke, "I went to go see a doctor, but all he did was drink blood from my neck. Don't go see Dr. Acula."

I know, can you believe it?

Pop quiz:
Which of the following is NOT a true story:

1. After much back and forth between me and my "doctor" about changing my drugs, she gives me the names of 3 options and tells me to go online, look them up and pick which one I want, apparently forgetting which one of us has a degree of medical knowledge.

2. Upon seeing my new haircut, my sister declares that I look like I stepped of the cover of "Ramona Quimby Age 8".

3. Trying to track down a guy in my department (at Cock), I stand up and yell, "Hey, anyone seen DICK?"

Answer: Number 2. My sister said I looked like a Mushroom.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things The Schooligan can not possibly hope to understand: 1. Why every single prescription medicine I take gives me nausea. 2. Why someone panelled the kitchen in fake wood. 3. How two very small cats can make SO. MUCH. NOISE. at 3 am. 4. Why "Rebel Without A Cause" is considered such a great movie. (I saw it recently and was v. disappointed. I would have thought James Dean was less of a wuss.) 5. Plumbing. I just don't get it. Especially the plumbing in my house which was apparently installed by an epileptic drunk. 6. Why hospitals charge for parking. That just seems so very mean. Like, I am visiting my dying mother and now I have to rummage around for $5? Not cool. 7. How people can suffer with VISIBLE PANTY LINES rather than wear a thong. 8. Why people on Ebay will bid ridiculous amounts of money for things that you can get IN A STORE NEAR YOU FOR LESS MONEY. Or, if there are no stores nearby, go to the store's website. 9. Why all of the Indian restaurants in my town are being replaced by Vietnamese Restaurants. Don't get me wrong, I love Vietnamese Food SO MUCH, but there are already 3 Vietnamese restaurants ON THE SAME STREET IN LESS THAN ONE MILE. Do we really need another one? Especially at the expense of House of India. 10. Why I am incapable of having the patience to blow dry my hair more than once every 2 months. I just can't do it. No matter how much better it makes my hair look. 11. The people who talk on their cell phones while working out. Huh? How do you run 2 miles while talking on the phone? No, seriously, how do you do it? I have enough trouble trying not to drop dead never mind have a conversation. 12. Why, at age 27, Farting and Fart Jokes are STILL FUNNY. (I am laughing RIGHT NOW just thinking about farts.) 13. How someone could not absolutely love Johnny Cash. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! Running2ks >Memoirs of a Squashed Toad KellyNellyNello Karen Chickadee-dee-dee Jen Ms. Crystal

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Oh, Internet. How I love to hate you.

So, like most people of my generation, whenever I have a question on... oh, anything at all, I look it up online. PT and I call it "consulting the oracle of the internet". I mean, where else would you look when you want to know if Domino's Pizza Supports Pro-Life Organizations or what happens when you fire a waiter for blogging? Yeah I don't know either. But dammit if sometimes your wealth of information gets me all bugaboo!

Like when, for example, I research a new drug my doctor wants to put me on that has the potential for WEIGHT GAIN and DIABETES, but that also has been shown to really help people with my issues. I really need to stop reading about drug recalls and lawsuits and "How Drug X Ruined My Life Completely", but I have developed (completely understandably) this intense distrust of my doctor(s) and their "knowledge" and their ability to actually help me and am not sure how to get the information I need to be really astute and knowledgable about what kinds of choices I have.

Must go read Perez Hilton before my head explodes.

No, really, this was EXACTLY how I wanted to spend my weekend.

I finally took down the Christmas tree. But not without filling the entire front room with pine needles. PT and I were shoving the tree out the front door, and I heard that sound of needles being stripped from the branches, as I groaned audibly, he said to me, "People have been making that sound after Christmas for CENTURIES." We had planned to throw the tree across the street where there is this... wooded, sort of, place, where everyone on the street tosses their grass clippings and leaves and old Christmas trees and stuff. It's not litter, it's all organic. But this weekend, the county had the convicts out there picking up trash. I didn't want to drag our tree through the chain gang, (especially when there is a no-dumping sign posted) so I said loudly to PT, "Why don't we just leave it in the front yard for now?" He looked at me strangely as I pulled him back into the house.

Oh, wait, I forgot to mention the part where I dropped the CAST IRON christmas tree stand on my foot. My GOOD foot.

And the part where the cat scratched me when I was trying to prevent her from leaving with the Christmas tree.

And how my friend's dad got scratched by her cat and his hand blew up to like 4 times its normal size and he had to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics. (This part didn't happen to me)

Then I decided to run the dishwasher and give my brother a haircut. For some reason, the clippers weren't cutting the hair so much as they were pulling it out strand by strand. As I was trying to figure this part out, I heard a strange noise, like there was something wrong with the dishwasher. I poked my head out the bathroom door, but nothing looked weird, so I ignored it. Suddenly, my kitchen was FULL OF WATER, and lurching to one side like the Titanic. I screamed and shut off the water and then continued yelling while frantically trying to mop the water up with towels. (Except, not with the Egyptian Cotton ones. Not those.)

We got the water cleaned up and I was sent under the sink with a headlamp to investigate. From what I could tell, the hose thing for the sprayer came off and left a hole where water was free to leak out when the sink was draining. I stuck it back on and reinforced it with athletic tape. Yeah, no, that didn't work and I had to clean up water a 2nd time some hours later.



Then I went to bed with a book on Cosmopolitans (next best thing to drinking one) that I had gotten at the Tatnuck Bookseller "40% going out of business because Larry is a tool with no business sense or glimmer of compassion for his fellow man" sale. I totally can't get into all that is wrong with this business (that i used to work for), or how much of a total DOUCHE the owner is for just shutting the doors without telling any of his employees that the store was closing and leaving them to show up for work the next morning and see a sign on the door that says, "Out of business". Let's just say that the closing of Tat-Yuck is definitely one of the local signs of the coming of the apocalypse.

Fantastic! Four!

Tagged by: Crystal

Four Jobs I have had: Wrangler on a dude ranch (by far the coolest EVER), Waitress (hasn't everyone?), Riding instructor/Coach to a 6 year old and her pony, Tour guide for my College (I could walk backwards better than ANYONE!)

Four Movies I Can (and do!) Watch Ad Nauseum: Ravenous, Dirty Dancing, Smoke Signals, FootLoose

Four Places I Have Lived: Worcester, MA; Oxford, MA; Leicester, MA; Clark, CO

Four Places I Have Been on Vacation: Scotland, Mexico, France, Ohio (yes, Ohio!)

Four Websites I Visit Daily: Dooce, Salon, Go Fug Yourself, PandaCam

Four TV Shows I Can't Miss: I don't have cable. But I do have all seasons of The Chapelle Show, and Mr. Show. And most seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Sex and the City

Four Favorite Foods: Bacon, S'Mores Pop Tarts (Untoasted), Trader Joe's Chocolate Chip Merengues (I have made myself physically sick from eating these MORE THAN ONCE), Buffalo Chicken (This is what made me fall off the vegetarian wagon)

Four Places I Would Rather Be: Thailand (Climbing! Beaches!), San Francisco, Red Rocks (Nevada), Colorado

Four Albums I Can't Live Without: "O Brother Where Art Thou" Soundtrack, Frantic Flattops-Cheap Women, Cheap Booze, Cheaper Thrills, Pink Martini-Both of them!, Alison Krauss Live.

Tag! You're it!
JewelWeed
Violet Girl (Maybe she'll update her friggin blog!)
Miriel
Boulder (He'll never do it)

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things That Grate On Every Nerve In The Schooligan's Body: 1. People who try to reason with cats. I contend that a well aimed squirt of water is infinitely more effective than saying to the offending feline, Now good kitties don't pee outside the litterbox, do they? No they don't. 2. Talking with a completely affected European/Canadian accent (Depending on where your current girlfriend lives) when you are 100% from Massachusetts and your parents talk normally. 3. Looking horrified when I tell you how much I spend on an iPod and then saying, Well, I am never going to buy one. Ok, fine. Don't. Noone is making you buy one. 4. Not putting a new roll of TP on the holder when you use up the last one. Putting it on the back of the toilet or the top of the empty roll DO NOT COUNT. 5. Trying to hit on me with emails full of grammatical errors. If you can't write a coherent sentence, I am probably just going to LOL at you. Possibly publicly. 6. People who don't apologize or accept blame when they are clearly wrong. When I fuck up (admittedly, often), the first words out of my mouth are "I'm so sorry!". 7. Characters in movies who scream a lot. 8. Not using the auto unlock button on my car and unlocking the doors manually. You see how the lock on the driver's door is busted off? Yeah, that's why. It's my car, learn it's quirks or DON'T USE IT. 9. Kids screaming/having tantrums in crowded public places. Yes, I know I don't have kids. I also know (as the oldest of 4 by EIGHT YEARS) how difficult it is to make them behave all the time. But I still don't have to enjoy it. 10. People dressed in dark clothes who leap out in front of my car while I am driving at night. This happens a LOT in my town, and I am terrified I am going to run someone over. 11. Paying money for crap beer. Yes, I know people have different tastes, and that is cool. I also know that if there is a FREE KEG of Bud Light, I am drinking the SHIT out of it. But don't expect me to pay for the stuff. It's barely even beer. Or drinkable. 12. People who aren't willing to try "different" foods. You don't have to like it, but at least TRY IT before you get grossed out. 13. THIS! If you want to use a picture of me for something public, like oh, I don't know A MAGAZINE, have the courtesy to ASK ME if it is ok. I will probably say yes, because I am vain like that, but don't just assume that it is ok. And then when I call you on it, don't expect that your crappy photoshop cropping is the same as an apology. It's not. I mean, how would you like it if I used a picture of YOU for an ad for, oh, I don't know, a three headed dildo without asking? Links to other Thursday Thirteens! (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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I used to complain that I had no shoes...

Until I started seeing a podiatrist.

Ok, so bump on my foot is not getting any better with off the rack orthotics. In fact, I told the foot guy today that they really weren't working out because they only fit in like THREE pairs of shoes. He looked at me like, What's the problem here? I petchulantly explained that I couldn't wear sneakers or snow boots ALL THE TIME. DUH.

So, before we decide to cut open my foot and remove the offending bone, Dr. Genius came up with THIS idea:



Yes, that's right. HE TAPED MY FOOT.

But really, is this the only solution? I mean, I can't have tape on my foot FOREVER, can I? At some point I am going to want to wash my foot.

Then I asked, How about if I go see a chiropractor?
Sure.
Do you think it will help?
Maybe.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

In the meantime, just call me TapeFoot.

Starting 2006

With insomnia!

I had low expectations for New Year's Eve. Really low. Even so, it ended up being the worst night EVER. Besides the pizza, which was delicious. First of all, Orlando Bloom, YOU SUCK. You are a terrible actor. AND GET RID OF THE SKANKY LOOKING MOUSTACHE. My brother, PT and I had a bunch of movies to watch, Kingdom of Heaven being one of them. Spare yourselves the boredom. And the suffering through bizarre slow and fast motion battle scenes.

I also watched War of the Worlds. Ok, so I REALLY want to like Tom Cruise the way I did when I was like 14 and before I knew how crazy he was and how much of a cult Scientology is. But I just can't. I can only look at him and think, This man is crazy. And also, This Movie Sucks. I mean, the Wells concept was scary enough, no? I mean aliens landing on earth and wasting major cities? Terrifying. So I thought Spielberg's aliens were overkill. But what the hell do I know? Oh and I just need to say that Dakota Fanning NEEDS TO SHUT THE HELL UP. I mean, she spends approximately 80% of the movie SCREAMING.

Anyway, PT fell asleep during KOH, but I stayed awake through that, Dawn of the Dead (the original), National Velvet and I was about to put in March of the Penguins, but then the cats started mewing for their breakfast right on schedule at 6.30 am. The best part was that not only could I NOT FALL ASLEEP, but every time I would start to think about dozing off, my heart would start racing and I would jerk up in a state of utter panic. WTF? Not an auspicious start to 2006.

On Sunday, I went to see Walk the Line. (Yes, I have done nothing except freak out and watch movies this past week. Oh, and not take down the Christmas tree or clean the house.) I thought I was in love with Johnny Cash before, but now I am completely and totally enamoured. I can't get over how good this film was. Which is awesome because it gives me something to contemplate at 4 am when I can't sleep.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things The Schooligan Found Surprising About Christmas This Year: 1. How much roast beef I was able to consume without Exploding. 2. Ditto Ham. 3. How sick I can get of Christmas Cookies. 4. How tolerant certain pets can be about festive holiday garb. (see yesterday's post) 5. That my dad donated our Christmas presents to charity. (Seriously) 6. How much I really wished he hadn't. 7. How much I wish I weren't so upset by this. 8. That my brother got me a deep fryer. 9. That this was one of the best presents EVER. 10. How PACKED the sex store was on Christmas Eve. 11. That people would think it was appropriate to wear Santa Hats to Midnight Mass. 12. How hard it was to find a church that actually had Midnight Mass at MIDNIGHT. (It's once a year, people, suck it up and have a coffee or something.) 13. How I am really sad that it's over.

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Post Holiday Frenzy!

This week I seem to have all sorts of engagements with people who are around for the typical "ONE NIGHT ONLY!". It's awesome because, you know, I love my friends, especially the ones I don't see all that often. (Kidding!) But dammit if it ain't exhausting.

Last night, my friend Tim*, who moved to San Francisco in 2004 (Thanks a lot, buddy.), wanted to have a climbing reunion. Since this is December in New England, we headed out to Metro Rock. We met up with Mikey and began a night of some serious climbing. Admittedly, I have been extremely lazy lately, but I was determined to keep up with the boys and not make an ass of myself in the process.

I started off by climbing a 5.10a/b. That was my warm up. And I did it without too much trouble. Then I climbed a 5.10b/c that Mikey had set. I fell twice on some difficult sequences, but managed to pull off the route without too much trouble. The boys then did a dicey .11a, I opted out of that one and instead hit another 10b/c that I completed without my usual amount of jackassery. I did a 5.9 called "Contortion" that was insanely awkward (hence the name) and made even more interesting, by having a hold that was completely loose that spun around when you stepped on it. Wheeeeeee! And finally, I did most of a 10c/d that I totally could have finished had I not been exhausted.

Blah blah blah, climbing, boring, blah.
Yes, I know. But it was awesome to have a reunion with my "climbing family", or at least part of the family. (Adam and Shruti, I miss you! I know you are having an amazing time in India and Sri Lanka, but dammit, it's not the same without you guys.)

For the Apres Climb, we met Forrest and Suzanne at Tokyo City, a Japanese place in Allston. If there is anything better than sushi post-climbing, I don't know about it. I sort of wish that I had a transcript of our dinner conversation. (although the incrimination factor would be absurdly high, but for oce we were NOT the most obnoxious table in the restaurant. IMAGINE!)
Some highlights:
"Can you imagine getting wasabi in your pee hole?"
"What?"
"Getting wasabi in your Urethra."
"Oh."
>pause< "I think pee hole sounds so much worse."

"You should try deep fried Oreos"
"Deep fried Oreos?"
"Yeah, tempura batter them and then fry them. So good."
"How about deep fried grilled cheese sticks?"
"Ewwww. Gross."
"You're telling me to deep fry OREOS and you think a fried grilled cheese is gross????"
"Have you seen that grilled cheese on e-bay with the Virgin Mary on it?"
"The one with bites out of it? Yeah."
"Isn't it like 30 years old or something?"
"Oooh! I heard about one guy who found the image of Mary and Jesus on a Funyun"
"A Bunion???"
"No! One of those like, onion ring snack things."
"Yeah, and then there was that Dorito that looks like the Pope's hat."
"Why does God like to appear on junk food so much?"

*Here are Tim and I on the last day of our climbing trip in Red Rocks, NV. (Please note that I am lounging on a crash pad and not actually climbing.)

Happy Holidays!

From all of us here at the Voodoo Lounge.

My brain can't handle it

The worst jokes EVER!

I want to personally find all the people that made these up and PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE a la Jay and Silent Bob.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things The Schooligan can't stop listening to: 1. Goody Two Shoes- Adam Ant (Write it on a pound note, pound note!) 2. Santa Baby- Marilyn Monroe (Think of all the fun I've missed, think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed...) 3. 99 Red Balloons- Nena (English and German*! Hast du etwas Zeit für mich Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich Von 99 Luftballons Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont) 4. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk- Trace Adkins (Ridiculous! Hillarious! Badonkadonk!) 5. I Want A Lover I Don't Have to Love- Bright Eyes (This song is so beautiful and disturbing and sad. "I want a boy so drunk he doesn't talk") 6. Blue Christmas- Elvis (My brother hates this song because it is "too sad". Well Sometimes Christmas IS SAD, buddy!) 7. Son of a Preacher Man- Dusty Springfield (This is the only good song she ever recorded. Seriously.) 8. Western Skies- Chris LeDoux (He died this year, and I am still sad. This song makes me miss Colorado so much it hurts.) 9. Dominic the Christmas Donkey- I have no idea (This song puts me into hysterics EVERY SINGLE TIME. I had no idea that Santa's reindeer had trouble climbing the hills of Italy. NO IDEA.) 10. Laffy Taffy- D4L (This is the WORST SONG EVER. So obscene. So funny. AND IT ONLY HAS 2 NOTES! Skeet skeet skeet!) 11. Grillz- Nelly (What can I say? Nelly does it again, even more ridiculous than the last time. Why? "Got bill in my mouth like Hillary Rodham." Ugh.) 12. Don't Change Your Plans- Ben Folds Five (Again with the heartbreaking. "You have made me smile again, In fact I think I'm sore from it, It's been a while.") 13. Another Travellin Song- Bright Eyes (Yes, I love the Bright Eyes. "I will fight like hell to hide that I have given up")

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My Kitchen

Is painted.
And slightly less ugly.
Wheeeeeeee!

Disclaimer

Everyone knows that the holiday season is the busiest time of the year. Right?
So, if, for example, people didn't their act together and get to the post office in time to mail out holiday packages, it would be totally understandable, right?
Ok, cool. Glad we are on the same page. Besides, it's so much nicer to get a surprise AFTER the holidays, so you can celebrate all over again. Right?

Ahem.

Not too much going on at the VL following the 2005 Cookie-paint-a-thon. Oh wait, I just made some chocolate chip banana cream bread. Smells fantastic. I did not, however, do it in a freshly starched dress, frilly apron and heels. (I am reading a book entitled "Finding Betty Crocker")

I am feeling sort of frenzied about the holidays, wanting to make sure the house is clean/painted/devoid of piles of detritus. And there is my desire to produce and overabundance of baked goods. PT remarked the other day, I liked it better when you HATED Christmas.

Tomorrow is my work "party". Well, actually, it is a lunch out where we eat and drink too much and then go back to work for 2 hours and struggle to stay awake. Or at least that is my version. It will be interesting to see this year's group interact in a vaguely social setting. Especially the guy who likes to talk about his hernia, pre and post-op. The same guy who offered to let his cube mate TOUCH THE HERNIA. The offer was politely declined.

We have Friday off, as well as next Monday, which is super nice, but for some reason the 4 day week always seems WAY LONGER than the regular week. It's like the anticipation of a holiday slows down the passage of time or something. (But unfortunately not in a way that allows me to get packages mailed in time.)

Ammendment

Oh, so on the bourbon ball recipe?
I totally forgot that you are supposed to add about 1/2 c. of sugar. Either granulated or powdered.

I got so caught up with the BOURBON, I forgot about all the other ingrediants.
How very like me!
So, sorry, but I am sure that they were fine anyway because corn syrup is really friggin sweet and then you rolled them in sugar (probably) at the end, so am sure they are yummy. But, again, sorry for the omission.

Yesterday Elaine and Leah came over to make holiday cookies. I spent the previous 2 days frantically freaking out on the phone to PT about how I needed to clean the house. Yes, I know that I could have just CLEANED it instead of getting hysterical while NOT CLEANING, but my brain totally doesn't work that way. I stopped myself from hands and knees scrubbing of the kitchen floor after remembering that we would be BAKING and therefore tossing dry ingrediants around Swedish Chef style and that it would be far more beneficial to scrub the floor AFTER we finished the cookies. I did however manage to get up ALL the broken glass, which I deemed necessary.

I had the foresight (and mania) to make up the sugar cookie dough ahead of time so that when the girls came over we could just do the fun part with the cookie cutters and the decorating. We made about 10000 cookies. Seriously. We then applied homemade icing with toothpicks and wee paint brushes to each individual cookie. It was fun... for about 4 cookies, and then we quit with the hand painted manger scenes and just started globbing on icing any old way. It was like a cookie sweat shop: three girls hunched over piles of cookies, silently decorating. Every so often one of us would eat a cookie and we would all sigh and think, Whew. That's one more we don't have to paint.

It was quite nice sitting in my KITCHEN THAT I FINALLY FINISHED PAINTING (oh yes i did!), eating and singing Christmas carols and baking. PT arrived unnanouced at some point, much to my delight. And proceeded to make a hummus and mozzerella stick sandwich. Not that I am getting on him about nutrition after I spent 2 days eating pretty much nothing but cookies. Just saying. But it was a lovely almost-christmas surprise. (The visit and the sandwich)

Suffice to say, the house looks immaculate and I am thoroughly sick of cookies.